apology – Living, Learning and Letting Go

Yesterday, I read a post at Neal’s Epiphany that I thought was incredibly powerful. I don’t know how Neal sees it, but using my psychotherapy frame, I see him as having written a beautiful letter to his inner child. Neal has graciously consented to me sharing his letter with all of you.

Neal's Epiphany

Dear Me,

You and I go way back, to the beginning. We’re one hundred percent connected in a way no one will–or could ever–understand. We’ve been there, standing together. Sometimes crying in the shower, sometimes snorting through our nose, but it’s always been you and me. Always and forever…

Or so it was supposed to be, but some time ago I left you–

I left you floundering on your own, to rely on love and encouragement and strength from others–from strangers–when it was I who should have held you up. When it was I who should have hugged you and praised you and appreciated you for the wondrous person you are–for all the beauty and life you bring to this world.

I seldom tell you how much I love you. How much I admire you. How beautiful and caring and intelligent and strong you are. That you are my hero.

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A friend shared the link to this beautiful piece by Chani Nicholas with me. Chani has given me permission to reprint her words on my blog.

“I want to live in a world where old ladies can afford to buy a cup of coffee.

And healthcare, because it’s free.

A world where folks are allowed to dress as they desire to and call themselves as they need to be called. Love who they love. Live how they live.

I want to live in a world where folks are allowed to live.

With dignity. In diversity. In a world that honors our differences and celebrate our connections.

I want to live in a world that apologizes when it’s wrong. A world that makes amends and reparations for what it has taken. A world that does not look away from its own horror. A world that builds monuments to resilience and resistance. A world that listens to the stories of the survivors. And believes them. A world that seeks to understand rather than to be understood. A world that listens to the stories of the past and a world that refuses to repeat its mistakes.

I want to live in a world where pain is transformed in the present, not passed down to future generations. A world that is organized around protecting the rights of each being, including every creature on the earth and the earth itself. A world where the hungry get fed first, the wounded receive remedies right away and the heart-broken know where to go to get a hug.

I want to live in a world where everyone is afforded the ability to take care of their own needs. And the needs of their loved ones. A world where The System prioritizes self-care. A world where self-determination is possible. A world where feeling competent, autonomous and related to folks that love you is the measure of a good life.

I want to live in a world that knows that hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people so we focus on helping folks heal. A world where mean-spirited violence and intolerance are not an option so they get interrupted immediately before they are allowed to take root. I want to live in a world full of self-correcting communities. A world full of folks that hold themselves and each other accountable. And close. A world where no pain goes unprocessed, no fear gets to fester, no greed goes unchecked. A world that understands its own imperfection. A world full of grown folks that know how to get down and children that feel safe enough to discover who they are. A world where creativity is the currency, where prisons are replaced with healing centers and no human potential is pissed away.

I want to live in a world where it is known that to go against any life would be to go against our own. Where it is known that to cause harm to another is to harm ourselves.

How free would we be if we cared that deeply?”

Thank you Chani for putting your prayer/vision/desires into words that we can all benefit from.