Live to Work or Work to Live?

Chai as Baby
“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.”

While there are days when I am tired or discouraged that I may think that I work in order to be able to buy the things I need to live, I know that isn’t really true.  I have no doubt that I live to work.  I  have been a psychotherapist since 1987.  My primary modality is group therapy based on a developmental model that includes the concept of “inner children.”  I believe that one of the most important elements in healing is for clients to learn how to parent those vulnerable “children” inside of themselves.

Most people start therapy because they are depressed and/or anxious.  They may have learned to cover their pain with addictive behaviors such over-working, over-thinking, eating disorders or substance abuse.  They frequently have trouble in relationships and often feel alone and lonely.  Past traumas may cause them to experience flashbacks.  They often have poor self esteem and think they are unworthy and will never be good enough.  They may be very critical of themselves and others.

Continue reading “Live to Work or Work to Live?”

“I will be responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.”

Accountability
Photo Credit: Fritz Reitz

When a friend showed me a picture of this rock, I thought of a one of the self care contracts* that I use in my personal life and with my psychotherapy clients.  That contract is “I am responsible and accountable for my thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.”

It is not uncommon to hear people in our society make comments such as, “You hurt my feelings.” and “You made me do that.”  You…..you….you….you.  When we get into the “you’s” we are more than likely not being responsible and accountable for our own feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.  Using that way of speaking increases the chances we will immerse ourselves in victim thinking and as a result experience a sense of powerlessness.

I’m not saying that people who are nasty and viscous in their words and actions should not be responsible for what they say and do.  Continue reading ““I will be responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.””