Challenge for Growth Prompt #2: Looking for the Good in Others

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Looking for the good

 

This week’s challenge is:

“Today I look for the good qualities in others.”

When we are in a bad mood, we may find ourselves focusing on someone else’s faults. When we focus on the negative, we are likely to see negativity all around us. From time to time, Amma reminds us that even a broken clock is right twice a day.

People often get triggered into negative thinking when they are with someone who reminds them of a person that hurt them in the past. In the psychotherapy model I use, we refer to that as “putting someone else’s face” on the present day person. That process is also referred to as projection.

Clients in therapy frequently project their parents’ faces on their therapists. I remember a time in the mid 90’s when a client was always angry with the male co-therapist in one of my therapy groups. He knew that the therapist reminded him of his father, but he was having a hard time “getting his dad’s face” off of the therapist.

This therapist had some unusual characteristics so I said to the client, “Did your dad ever wear an earring?” and “Did your dad sometimes wear red toenail polish?” The client started laughing. His father would NEVER have considered doing either of those things. Seeing the differences really helped him separate the therapist from his father.

This week, for one, two, three days or longer, focus on looking for the good in others. If you have trouble finding anything positive about a person, consider whose face you might have on them.  If you decide it is a parent, or a boss, or someone else from your past, identify ways the current day person is different from the one in your past.  Then “de-role” the present day person by saying to yourself, “You are not (insert the name or role of person from the past), you are (insert the name or role of the person in the present).”  After you de-role the current day person, you may be better able to identify some of their good qualities.

Also consider making lists of the positive qualities of anyone you have negative thoughts about, whether they be from your past or present.

Sometime during the week, write a post about some aspect of this topic or about your experience when focusing on seeing the good in others. Feel free to use whatever form you desire: i.e., prose, story, poem, photograph, etc.

I look forward to seeing where this challenge takes you.

The article that you link to this prompt should be a new post written specifically for this challenge.

 

General Prompt Information:

Since it is easier to make behavioral changes if we focus on them one day at a time, each of the weekly challenges will start with “Today, I focus on…….” It will be up to you to decide how long you want to focus on a particular challenge— one, two, three days or even longer. At some point during the week, publish a post that relates in some way to the subject of the week.

Link your post back to this prompt post. If the pingback doesn’t work, then leave the link to your post in the comment section of this post.  Be sure to include “Challenge for Growth Prompts” as one of your tags.

Throughout the week, I will publish the links for the posts that were created as the result of this prompt.  I will also post the links from those who participated the previous week. That way they will be seen by anyone who comes to the this page.

If you don’t have a blog, please feel free to submit your contribution to the prompt in the comment section below.

 

This week’s contributors to Looking for the Good challenge:

On Humans and Humanity- The Seeker’s Dungeon

Today I look for the good qualities in others- Journey of a Warrior Womyn

There is No “Other”- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Khuśiyōm Kī Bahār- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Through the Shadows- Nik’s Place

finding the light side (free verse)- Traces of the Soul

Challenge for Growth Prompt #2- Annette’s Place

 

Last week’s contributors to Needs vs Wants challenge:

The Bliss We Seek- The Seeker’s Dungeon

2016 Needs- Self Therapy

Needs vs Wants (Haibun)- Traces of the Soul

Resolve- Dream Cloud Diaries

Compassion’s Desires (Haibun)- Tournesol dans un Jardin

Are My Trips to Amritapuri Fulfilling a Need or a Want?- Living, Learning and Letting Go

The Needing Want- Nik’s Place

Needs vs Wants- Journey of a Warrior Womyn

My thanks goes to each of the bloggers listed above and to those of you who wrote your response to the challenge in the comments section of the challenge post.

 

To see the most recent Challenge for Growth Prompts Click Here

 

 

40 thoughts on “Challenge for Growth Prompt #2: Looking for the Good in Others”

  2. The Challenge for Growth Prompt sounds like something I would like to participate in. I enjoyed reading this post, as well as all of the posts from the first week’s challenge. Today, I plan to reread the challenge as well as week one’s posts. I have growth issues, but I want to ponder whether I can commit to addressing them in an open and honest way.

    Liked by 1 person

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    1. Yay!!! I’d love for you to participate. However you choose to write your post will be perfect.

      I’m glad you are reading the posts from last week. They are very different from each other. That’s one of the things that makes this kind of prompt rich.

      Like

      Reply

  3. It reminds me to the behavioural experiments of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy. It is very important to be aware that our thoughts are not reality and find a way to challenge them and find an evidence against them.

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  4. Writing ‘n Burning. Recently, I’ve learned that some level of anxiety is with us all the time… it’s just part of being human. And that the more we stuff it down out of awareness, the more it builds up and comes out as anger… often in the form of projections and negative judgments. Now, when I notice irritability that I’m connecting with a person or a situation, I scribble down every conceivable anxiety or fear behind it, no matter how ridiculous… just stream of consciousness. When there’s nothing more to say, I crumple the page(s) and set them on fire outside. I’m astonished how much more energy I’ll end up having through the next day or two, along with a happier mood, and sometimes reduced body pain.

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    1. I like it! I certainly believe it is important to look for the fear too.

      I think working on the fear (and/or anger) and changing habitual behaviors such as seeing the negative are important. Thanks for sharing the technique you are using to get the fear out. I will share it with my clients.

      In my own therapy I needed to do the opposite. I had learned to cover anger with fear so there was a lengthy period of time that I looked to see what I was angry about whenever I felt fear. Sometimes I was truly afraid but most times I had stuffed anger!

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  5. Interesting bit of synchronicity. I always look on Amma’s homepage for the “thought of the moment”. Today’s for me is:

    Always try to recognize and appreciate the good qualities in others. — Amma

    Thought you’d appreciate it! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  7. Pingback: On Humans and Humanity | The Seeker's Dungeon
  8. Pingback: There Is No “Other” | Living, Learning and Letting Go
  9. Pingback: Khuśiyōm Kī Bahār | Living, Learning and Letting Go
  11. Pingback: Traces of the Soul
  12. Pingback: finding the light side (free verse) – Traces of the Soul
  14. Pingback: Challenge for Growth Prompts: First Month’s Summary | Living, Learning and Letting Go

  15. I just found this challenge and I am going to give it a try. One question? What day of the week does each challenge end and a new one is posted? I am sure you probably stated it but I am new to blogging and I get too excited and miss stuff! I am following you now and will look for more posts. I will use the tag Challenge for growth prompt. Any tips to start me off?

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    1. You are welcome to do any of the old ones that you want to do. The new ones come out at 5 a.m. PST on Wednesday mornings. I’m glad you want to participate!

      All of the challenges can be found at https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/category/prompts/.

      Yes tag it Challenge For Growth Prompts (remember the s). And be sure to link it to the appropriate challenge when you post yours. When I do that I usually put it at the bottom my post and say something like “Written for Challenge for Growth Prompt #_” and link it to the page that has the description of the prompt.

      Feel free to continue asking questions!

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      1. I have been writing on this weeks challenge finding the good in others and I included a link back to that weeks page….I need to go add the s’s to prompts in my tags and catergories though…lol…thanks for that tip! I will be sending it in or posting it in just a few….It took me to a dark place but also showed me how far I have came….room for growth on the topic for sure!! Hope my take is ok….thanks Annette

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      2. I look forward to reading what you wrote. And it fine for people to write about any take they have on it so be assured that whatever wrote will be fine. You can also put the link the comment section of the individual challenge. That will ensure it doesn’t get missed!!!

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      5. The notice still didn’t show up in my notifications so I went to the tags list and found it there!

        In order for me to get notice you will need to link to the prompt somewhere in the post. You said that you were new…. do you know how to create a link? If not I can tell you how to do that.

        If you do know how to do that you could link my “looking for the good prompt” to the word challenge in your first line.

        Keep letting me know when you post something though so I’m sure I get it!

        Thanks again for writing a really good post.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. You can now find your post mentioned in three different places on my blog. Take a look
        1) https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/challenge-for-growth-prompts-looking-for-the-good-in-others/
        2)https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2016/01/20/challenge-for-growth-prompts-learning-to-be/
        3)https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/2016/02/02/challenge-for-growth-prompts-first-months-summary/

        Let me know if you have any trouble finding them. You might want to start writing on the newer prompts first and then go backwards since more people will see the newer ones. But however you do it is fine.

        Liked by 1 person

      9. Yes. Number 1 is the oldest. Number 7 will come out tomorrow morning … so #6 is the newest one in this moment. I love that you are so interested in them.

        Sent from my iPhone

        >

        Liked by 1 person

  16. Pingback: Challenge for Growth Prompts: January to March 2016 – Living, Learning and Letting Go

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