Living and Learning in Amritapuri, India: August 29-September 1, 2018

Amrita University Graduation

Friday, August 31, was graduation day for 1,325 undergraduate, post graduate and PhD students from the Amritapuri campus of Amrita University. The graduates came from the Schools of Arts & Sciences, Ayurveda, Biotechnology, Business, and Engineering.

This year, the graduates and their families gathered in the Amritapuri auditorium and waited for Amma and the other dignitaries to arrive. The Chief Guests, were Dr. K Sivan, Chairman, Indian Space Research Organisation and Amma who is the Chancellor of the University.

Student receiving his diploma

Student receiving her diploma

I was not able to attend the event, but I had been present when the decorating began the night before. The next day, I discovered that the front of the stage had been decorated with beautiful flowers and there were purple curtains that extended from one side of the auditorium to the other. They were so beautiful that they practically took my breath away. The pink lights that were placed behind the curtains made the scene even more striking. As you can see in some of the photos, many banners had been hung around the sides of the auditorium.

I was able to hear the last part of Amma’s speech. You can read some of Amma’s message to the graduating students if you click here.

So much love went into preparing and presenting this ceremony. I have no doubt that the graduates will remember this day for the rest of their lives.

The photos are from Amma’s Facebook Page and Amritapuri.org.

A New Experience

I have had a cyst on my left cheek for about six years. The doctors I have seen during that time have kept an eye on it but the only solution they offered me was to have it surgically removed. I had been told that the surgery would leave a sizable scar. I would have no problem with that if it was a necessary surgery, but since it was cosmetic, I decided to just let it be.

One day last week, a friend asked if I had considered talking to Dr. Sushila about the cyst. Dr. Sushila is the Ayurvedic doctor that runs Amritapuri’s panchakarma program. I’ve known her since my early days in Amritapuri. I thought it was a great idea, so I walked to her office and was able to schedule an appointment for that very day. During the visit, Dr. Sushila suggested I see a doctor who works at the Amrita University School of Ayurveda. The next morning, I took a rickshaw to the Ayurveda hospital/school/clinic.

Since it is a University clinic, there were students who observed the doctor closely. A few of them also assisted her. That first day, the doctor did an examination and then had one of the senior students make a poultice of herbs. I noticed it consisted of some black herbs and something that looked like a small citrus fruit. (I probably didn’t see everything that went into the poultice.) The student used a mortar and pestle to crush up the ingredients. After applying the mixture, she put a bandage over it. (The purpose of the poultice was to see if the cyst would soften overnight.)

That was the first of five daily visits to the clinic. The second morning, the doctor took of the bandage and then removed a scab that had formed on the outside of the cyst years ago. She then began the process of taking out the contents of the cyst. It was important that she also remove the outer sack because if any of the sack remained under my skin, the cyst would regrow. When the doctor finished her work, a different student applied a new bandage.

That day I had heard the doctor tell the students my cyst was a sebaceous cyst. When I looked it up later, I read that the contents of that type of cyst is a “cheese-like matter”. That description matched what I have observed in the past.

There had been some build-up of that matter overnight, so it was clear that not all of the cyst had been removed. The doctor supervised a senior student in removing more of the substance. She instructed me to return to the clinic for next two days. On the fourth and the fifth day there was no indication that the cyst was still producing the matter.

I was told I could remove the bandage at the end of that day. And, at that point, I could also finally wash my hair (I hadn’t been able to wash it because I was supposed to keep the bandages dry). When I took the last bandage off, I was very pleased to discover that there will be almost no scar.

Hopefully, I won’t need to return to the clinic, but if I do, so be it. The procedure caused no pain, so I do not dread the possibility of going back. Since I used to teach nursing students at the University of Washington, I had enjoyed being in the teaching environment.

I feel so grateful, and impressed, that the doctor was willing to give me this level of attention. I can’t imagine being told to come back five days in a row in the U.S. She had so much patience and was so gentle. And she asked repeatedly if I was experiencing pain. The cost was unbelievable. I paid 200 rupees ($3.00) to register at the clinic and 30 rupees (45 cents) for each of the dressings. That’s it!

Leelas Abound

Leela is a Sanskrit word that is often defined as “God’s play.” Even though the word “play” is used, that doesn’t mean all leelas are fun. They often take the form of lessons and challenges coming in rapid succession. Or they may be a whole series of events that leave you thinking “What in the world is going on?”

I always experience an increase in leelas when I visit Amritapuri. The leelas that stand out for me on this trip occurred the evening of August 31. You may remember that earlier on the trip, I made a commitment to myself to not sit in the back or far sides of the auditorium and instead to sit in the front of the hall. For several days, I took every opportunity to do that. While I loved being in the front, I also did too much; I can’t sit cross-legged for long periods of time so my legs hurt, and I was getting too tired.

On August 31, I decided I would stay in my room during the evening meditation and the question-and-answer period that followed it; I would just go to the bhajan (devotional singing) program that followed it. During the first program, I would catch up on computer work.

About the time that the meditation started, I received an email saying that someone may have attempted to get into my Comcast account and that I needed to reset the password. After multiple failed attempts at changing the password, I called the U.S. and got help from Comcast directly.

After the call I was able to change the password on both my phone and laptop, but still wasn’t able to get the emails to download. I ended up deleting the Comcast email account on both devices and then reinstalling it. After that I was able to get my emails on the phone, but still couldn’t get them to download onto the laptop. Soon thereafter, I discovered that all of the contacts on my laptop had disappeared. Needless to say, dealing with this took a lot of time and I didn’t get any computer work done during the meditation and Q&A. In fact, I’m still dealing with some of the problems that started that evening.

By then, it was time for me to go to the bhajan program, so I headed to the auditorium. Once there, I discovered Amma had started singing earlier than normal. As I walked into the hall, she was singing the last verse of Morya Re. I couldn’t believe it. I had heard that song for the first time during the 2017 Amritapuri Ganesh celebrations and fell in love with it. I have been with Amma for 29 years and I’ve never heard her sing the song before. I was happy that I got to hear some of it, but longed for the full experience.

I was still determined to sit in the front of the room but the hall was crowded due to the upcoming Krishna’s birthday celebrations. I decided to get to the front area by coming in from the side. Perhaps I could sit against the wall at the bottom of the stage. The front section of floor-sitting area is primarily occupied by the brahmacharinis (female monks) and long-term western residents. That would be an awesome place to sit for bhajans, although at this point I knew I would likely be sitting so close to the stage wall that I might not be able to see anything.

I did find a place to sit there and I was even able to get a glance of Amma from time to time. I was content. Moments later, an Indian brahmacharini asked if I could see Amma, and when I responded “a little” she motioned for me to come sit next to her. I was hesitant at first, because I didn’t want to block anyone’s vision, but she said it was fine. I moved up and felt very appreciative that she had helped me in this way. Then a Western resident, who was even closer to the front, motioned for me to come sit beside her, and I did. If Amma had been sitting on the floor instead on the high stage, I would have been about 20 feet away from her. Needless to say, I had a wonderful time singing bhajans from that area… and felt very taken care of besides.

My conclusions from these experiences:

Was I bad for skipping the meditation and Q&A : No

Was my choice to skip those programs a mistake: No, I made the choice based on self-care and it still feels right. However, choices may have consequences and these did.

Throughout this experience, I had the opportunity to practice behaviors such as persistence, flexibility, equanimity, and letting go. I was also reminded that what I need will be provided.

What I will do differently in the future because of this experience: I will come early to the bhajan program so if Amma starts the program before I expect her to, I will be ready.

To read the previous posts in this series click here.

Challenging My Memory

I intentionally carry a small purse (7 ½ x 5 ½ x 2 ½ inches) and I keep very few things in it. I believe that having a small purse increases the likelihood that I will be able to find items when I look for them.

Despite that precaution, I find myself constantly searching for things. I often say that if I could get back all of the time I have spent looking for my keys, it would add years to my life.

Sometimes I lose items due to not paying attention to where I put them. At other times though, the circumstances are more bizarre.

A few weeks ago, I bought a clock at my local Rite Aid store. I was aware at the time that it might not work out, so I took care to keep the receipt. The next day, I decided to return the clock. I looked through my purse, the place where I was sure I had put it, and it wasn’t there.

I mentally retraced every move I made after having left Rite Aid. I remembered that I had carried the unbagged clock to the QFC next door. Had I kept the receipt in my hand instead of putting it in my purse? Had I put the clock and the receipt in the grocery cart and accidentally left the receipt in the cart? That didn’t seem right, but at least it was a reasonable explanation.

For two days, I searched everywhere for the receipt. I looked through my purse over and over again. I finally accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to find it. A day or two after that, I looked across the table and saw this:

Purse It was the receipt for the clock! There was NO way that receipt had been hanging out of my purse all that time. And I live alone so it was not reasonable to think that someone else had placed it there.

Hinduism has a word called leela. It means God’s play. The whole thing sure felt like a leela to me. God’s play would have a purpose though. So if this was a leela what was the purpose? Well it had given me the opportunity to practice being calm in all circumstances; trust the process of life; remember the importance of being mindful; be persistent in going after what I want, yet know when it is time to let go; and remember that everything happens for a reason.

Decades ago, I had many experiences of losing things and then finding them days, weeks, or months later… in plain sight. So often the items were in places I had looked many times. I began to wonder if there was something physically wrong with me. Did I have a dissociative disorder (i.e. in those days the extreme version was called Multiple Personality Disorder)? Did I have Alzheimers? Did I have some other medical problem? None of those explanations seemed right but I went to a psychologist anyway. He reassured me that there was nothing wrong with me and said he believed that my unconscious mind had found a way to get my attention FAST. There was no doubt about that; I hated having my memory challenged.

This morning, as I was contemplating writing this post, it happened again. I have a brick wall in my garden that I build two years ago out of loose bricks. My garden has gophers and their tunnels cause the wall to slump. Therefore, I need to rebuild parts of it each spring.

I decided I would start that rebuilding process this morning. I’ve been having back problems the last few months so I knew I would have to do it slowly, a small section at a time. I finished what I considered to be a reasonable amount of the work…. and then decided I would do just a little more. I reached for my trowel and the level, and they were nowhere to be found!

I hadn’t moved from where I was working. I searched for the tools for a while and then gave up. Clearly I shouldn’t be doing any more; I had done all my back could tolerate. I also decided there was no point in continuing to look for the tools. I went back into the house to rest my back.

When I took the garbage outside, two hours later, I found the trowel and level in another part of the garden. When I saw them, I remembered that earlier I had seen some bricks that were not straight in that part of the garden and had walked over there to straighten them. I had set the tools down at that time.

I imagine there are rational explanations for everything I lose, although I often don’t have a clue what it is. I do believe things happens for a reason and those reasons are for the good. I appreciate any process that gives me opportunity to learn and/or protects me from me.

Written for The Daily Post Prompt: Misplaced

Living and Learning in Amritapuri (Dec 18-21, 2015)

12366450_10153278613243302_3737150413022117000_n — Photo Credit: Amma’s Facebook Page

Celebration

This is the 500^th post I’ve published since I started this blog in March 2014! I like that it is a “Living and Learning in Amritapuri” post that gets that distinction.

Painting

Paint doesn’t last a long time here, probably because we are so close to the Arabian Sea. I imagine the salt water breaks it down. This is one of the years that the front of the temple is being repainted. The work is so intricate and temple becomes even more beautiful when it is freshly painted. I don’t take photos on the ashram grounds unless they are nature oriented but you can see what I’m talking about in this picture. I particularly wish you could see the horses clearly. If you zoom in you will be able to see more.

asrham-07

Christmas Play

I’ve been meaning to tell you about something that happened during the second week I was here. On one of the first play rehearsals, I walked into the room where the practice was being held, only to find Jesus sitting by the door meditating. I was startled; the experience was so surreal. It, of course, only took seconds to realize that it was the woman playing Jesus in the play but it felt so real for that brief moment. None of the other actors wear their costumes during the rehearsals, but I soon discovered she always does. It not only helps her get into character, but, I think, it also helps everyone get into the spirit of the play.

[Note: Traditionally in India the actors are either all men or all women. That used to be true in the plays offered by the ashram Westerner’s too, but over the years there have been more and more men in our plays. Some women still play men’s roles though.]

Yesterday was the dress rehearsal for all of the women and children. There are seven very young children who were wearing sheep costumes. They were SOOOOOOO cute. I expect to have pictures to share with you after the play.

Only a few more days until Christmas Eve, the night the musical will be performed!

Tai Chi

I am so loving this process. I am able to reach a meditative place that I haven’t been able to reach since the mid 90’s. I look forward to finding a Tai Chi teacher when I get back to Seattle.

Often there is a man practicing Kung Fu near where we practice Tai Chi. It seems like they have similar origins since they share a lot of the same moves, but the Kung Fu seems so violent compared to the gentle movements of the Tai Chi. Both are beautiful in their own way.

The fishermen are usually out in the sea when we have the morning class. One day this week, the men had their boats pulled up on the beach and they were working on the nets. I noticed a lot of the boats and the supplies were stored on the beach the next day, so I took some pictures.

Bhakti

My next door neighbor helps care for the ashram dogs when they aren’t with Amma. As a result, Bhakti, is frequently in or near her room. Bhakti is well loved at the ashram and is welcomed wherever she goes. Last year, I was amazed when I watched Bhakti wait for the elevator on the ground level, get on it when the door opened, and then get off when it arrived at our floor. Somehow she knew her second home was there.

Ants, Mosquitoes, Rain

If a moth dies during the night or if I drop some food on the ground, then a trail of ants usually comes. I discovered many years ago that it is generally possible for me to get the ants out of my room without killing them. If they are on a wall, I put some water in my hand and wetten the wall near the area where they seem to be going. When they get close to the water, they turn around and go back to wherever they came from. It even looks like they “talk” with their friends because the ants that are coming towards the wet area turn around and join the others when they see them going the other way.

There don’t seem to be many mosquitoes here this year. That has never happened before. I noticed it the other day but since mosquitoes usually don’t bother me, I thought maybe I was wrong. Yesterday, a long term resident mentioned the lack of mosquitoes to me, so at least some other people have that belief too.

It has continued to rain almost every day; often very hard rain. Most years there is no rain when I am here in December so this is a marked change. I assume the rain is the result of climate change; could the reduced number of mosquitoes be too? I think mosquitoes are another “pest” for me to research so maybe you will see an “Interesting Facts about Mosquitoes” post someday!

Lessons, Lessons, Lessons

I wrote the above part of this post last night before I went to bed (it is 13 ½ hours later in India than the U.S. so it is Tuesday morning here now.) When I finished, I had the feeling/thought/sense/belief that I hadn’t had much to share this year and hoped that the pictures I’ve put up have made my posts valuable to others. Even as I had those thoughts, I knew that my perception was probably off because of the comments I have received from people after reading my posts.

This morning I woke up realizing that I actually have been bombarded by lessons, leelas, tests, and experiences. Yes I am feeling hot, tired, run down emotionally and physically, but that, in part, is a side effect of the purification and learning processes that I am undergoing.

So if I look at things from that perspective I have more to say!

My steady stream of “losing” things has slowed down considerably but not stopped. Everything that I had lost has “come back” except for the archana book. Many years ago when I was in a stream of losing things, I was so disturbed by it that I ended up deciding to see a psychologist. I wanted to rule out early onset Alzheimer’s and Multiple Personality Syndrome. Neither of those diagnoses seemed warranted but I wanted to hear that from a professional. The psychologist told me is that neither disease was present, but that my unconscious mind had found a fool proof way to get my attention. That was, and is, definitely the truth. I don’t think much else shakes me up as much as not being able to find things that should be easy to find.

There are a lot of people who have flats here and live alone. To make sure no one is sick in their room without anyone knowing about it, we have to initial a paper first thing in the morning. Someone is assigned to check the room of anyone who has not signed in. Going to each person’s room takes them considerable time and effort. Generally, even though I have the best intentions, I forget to sign in three or four times during a trip. One day last week, I was headed downstairs to sign the paper and was congratulating myself for not having missed a single day this time. Imagine my surprise when I returned to my room later in the day and found a paper saying the person had come to check on me since I hadn’t initialed the paper. I must have become distracted on my way downstairs. A lesson in pride, not being present, and removal of ego I think.

The auditorium here has no closed sides and is huge. The west part of it is used for dining room seating for the Western Café and Western Canteen and the east part is used for dining room seating for the Indian food line. (Anyone can eat at any of these places, but the type of food served is different for each.) There has been an ongoing problem with Westerners taking the dishes from the café and canteen to their rooms to eat. That results in a constant loss of dishes. Even though the dishes may ultimately be brought back, during the time they are in private rooms they are unavailable for the cafe/canteen to use. One day this week, I came downstairs to discover that the whole dining area had been roped off and there is a closed line of tables against the ropes. The only entrance to the dining area is now on the west side of the hall. During the meal serving, someone is posted by the exit to stop people from leaving with the dishes. If they want to take their food to their rooms, there are bowls, plates and spoons available for purchase for 10-60 rupees (15 cents to $1). It used to be possible to walk through the auditorium and dining area as a short cut to many places in the ashram so I’m finding the change to be a big nuisance although I can see that the new system is working very well and is needed. I realize it is an opportunity to work on staying even minded and to surrender personal comfort for the higher good.

During the last two days, in my perception, my daughter and son were inundated with challenges. When that happens the mother bear in me comes out in force (“Mess with me but don’t mess with my kids”) and probably disrupts my piece of mind more than anything else. I know those lessons are important opportunities for them to learn as well as a chance for me to practice letting go and letting them have their own experiences, but it isn’t easy.

This list could go on and on but I’m going to stop. I think you can see why when people ask how my vacation was I say, or at least think, that it wasn’t a vacation. This is hard work. But I know the results are well worth going through the discomfort. I am learning and growing in a multitude of ways.

When I was looking for pictures for this post I saw the quote I put at the beginning. It seemed very relevant to what I had just written. Thank you Amma for helping me eliminate my ego so that the love inside of me can emerge.

To read the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/

Living and Learning in Amritapuri (Dec 14-17, 2015)

green flowers
Elephant, Dragonflies, Eagle

Lakshmi, one of the ashram elephants, has been out three times since I’ve been here. She is led into the courtyard by her trainers/attendants and the devotees, especially children, feed her. I love watching her take a whole clump of small bananas with her trunk and eat them all at once. These are some pictures of Lakshmi and Amma from 2011.

This morning during my Tai Chi class big dragonflies flew overhead. When I did some more Tai Chi in the evening, the eagles were soaring above us. Both scenes were so beautiful.

Play Preparation

Play preparation is happening everywhere. Practices, creation of the set design, costumes, backdrops, slides in Malayalam and English, lighting, sound, all occurring simultaneously. I generally go to one of the practices each day. So far they have been learning and reviewing one scene at a time. Starting on Sunday they will be putting it all together. It is so exciting. From my room I can hear many of the practices I don’t attend. In fact, at times I can hear the music even better from my room. The sound goes up I guess.

I am spending more time sewing costumes than last week although I only work on them 2-3 hours a day compared to Jani and Sumati’s night and day work.

There is one part of the play I am very eager to tell you about but will wait and until after it is performed on Christmas Eve.

Leelas abound

It is amazing how I can “lose” as many things in this one room as I do in my house. For several days this week I was not able to find my iPhone cord (and was very thankful I sensed I should bring two cords to India, and did), the Fitbit gadget (I don’t know what it is called) I put into my laptop’s USB port, and some tweezers. I looked for them for days and took everything in this room apart several times. When I couldn’t find a receipt I needed on Tuesday, it felt like the “last straw.” Within minutes of reaching that level of frustration, I found the phone charger and the Fitbit piece in places I had looked for them many times. They were practically in plain sight. I also remembered where I put the receipt. No tweezers though.

This scenario felt like something we call Leela (God’s play). No other way of seeing it made sense to me.

Soon after I wrote this section yesterday, I noticed that my meal card and my time card for Amma’s darshan (hug) had disappeared from my wallet. I felt sooooo frustrated and tired of this kind of leela. There will be more to this story later in the post.

[Note: Tokens are distributed to get Amma’s hug. It is a way to create some organization in the darshan process; there is no charge for the token. Yesterday the tokens for Westerners were given to people who had just arrived at the ashram, were leaving soon, or were new devotees. The rest of us who hoped to have darshan later were given time cards which would probably be exchanged for darshan tokens sometime in the evening.]

Journey to town

Yesterday, I had to go to town for a variety of reasons. Prior to 2006 when we went to town we had to take a canoe. When the tsunami hit in 2004 Amma transported everyone in the village and ashram to the mainland by boat because there was no nearby bridge. Over the next two years, the ashram built a bridge so people could get off the peninsula in an emergency. Having the bridge has also made it possible for us to walk to town whenever we want to go there.

ashram-01

The view from the bridge is gorgeous. This is what I saw when I went to town yesterday.

On the way back, I stopped at a shop and bought some fruit and crackers. The picture of the cashew crackers on the front of the box made them look so good. After I purchased them, someone asked what the ingredients list said. I took a look. No cashews at all! I imagine one of the “flavorings” that are mentioned on the ingredient list is something that tastes like cashews!

I remember hearing this year in the U.S. that one fast food company, I think it was McDonalds, was going to start using more real food. The example that was given was that they were going to use real black pepper! I was perplexed. Why would anyone use fake black pepper? It didn’t seem like black pepper would be an expensive ingredient, certainly not as expensive as cashews.

T-shirt

I saw a t-shirt I liked the other day. On the back it said:

Love & Serve

Give & Forgive

~Amma

More Leelas

While leelas mean “God’s Play,” they don’t tend to be fun. I see them as challenges, tests, lessons, etc. They can lead to an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes when one happens over and over like what I described above, all you can do is shake your head and laugh, and continue riding the wave, roller coaster, or whatever metaphor you want to use.

I felt sad after I lost my time card. I knew the crowds would be really big starting this coming weekend, and I thought that last night would be the only time I would have a chance to go for Amma’s hug until just before I leave the ashram in January. For the next couple of hours I looked for the man who was in charge of the tokens for Westerners. I didn’t think he would replace the lost time card, but it never hurts to ask. I never saw him, and it was getting late. Even though it was only about 8 pm I was so tired.

I decided to go talk to my daughter Chaitanya and see if she had any advice. She has nothing to do with tokens in India but she is one of the people in charge of them on the foreign tours so I thought she might have an idea. I really wanted to go for darshan that night. As we were talking, Chaitanya glanced out of the cafe window and saw that the token person was standing right there! She asked him if he was going to be able to hand out more tokens that night and he said only to people who had just arrived or were leaving. I told him I had lost my time card. He said “Oh, you had a time card? Here, you can have the last of the ‘regular’ darshan tokens!” I was happy and relieved. I could have my hug, and the leela was over, maybe.

For the next hour or so I waited in the line and got my time with Amma. So nice. I felt content and headed for my room. As I got near the elevator, I looked for the key to my room and discovered it was gone. That was another one of those shaking my head times. To me these experiences are practice in staying calm, going with the flow, being patient, being persistent, letting go, and/or learning to do whatever it takes. I reviewed where the key could possibly be. I had locked the room when I left it and put the key in my bag. The only thing that made sense was that I must have dropped the key when I pulled my wallet out of the bag to buy some fruit to give Amma during my darshan. I walked back to that table and found the people who staffed it in the last stages of putting everything away. I asked the woman if she had found a key and she handed my key to me! I was very thankful that the leela was short lived.

This morning, I discovered this set of leelas still aren’t done, which is no surprise. I had not gone to the morning prayers the day before, so forced myself to get out of bed for them this morning. When I was ready to leave my room for the temple, I discovered my chanting book was not in the place I leave it EVERY day when I return from the prayers. I quickly looked around the room and it was nowhere to be found. Did I drop it when I came back from the prayers two days ago? Or will it show up out of nowhere like the other items? Who knows.

The only chanting book I could find was a copy I have that is written in Devanagari script (Sanskrit). By then I was so late for the prayers that there was no way I was going to find where they were in the book, particularly when I would be reading it in Sanskrit script. I haven’t studied any Sanskrit since I’ve been here so thought maybe I was supposed to be working on that. I stayed in my room and read the chant from that book, slowly, until the people in the temple were finished with the morning prayers. Looks like it is going to be another day of challenge. Oh…. and I found the lost tweezers within a minute of finding out I had lost the chanting book!

“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”

To see the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/