A Heartfelt Message from a Child

A friend sent me this video a few days ago. It is tough to watch but it has a VERY important message. I hope the time comes when the world has changed so much that this 6 year old’s words are no longer needed, other than for a history lesson.

I also found this follow up video:

It would be nice to see a follow up of the follow up.

Please Listen to Me

When I started my psychotherapy practice in 1987, I hung a poster titled “Please Listen to Me” on my group room wall. Even though it is no longer on the wall, I think of the content often. I believe it contains important information for everyone, but might be especially helpful to those of you who are participating in this week’s Challenge for Growth prompt.

Please Listen to Me

When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice, you have not done what I asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you begin to tell me why I shouldn’t feel that way, you are trampling on my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems, you have failed me, strange as that may seem.

All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do, just hear me. Advice is cheap: 50 cents will get you both Dorothy Dix and Dr Spock in the same newspaper. And I can do for myself I’m not helpless. Maybe discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself you contribute to my fear and weakness. But when you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what’s behind this irrational feeling.

And when that’s clear, the answers are obvious and I don’t need advice. So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk, wait a minute for your turn; and I’ll listen to you.

Author Unknown

Challenge for Growth Prompt #6: I Listen Attentively

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I Listen

This week’s challenge is:

“Today I listen attentively.”

Sometimes when we are listening to another person, we may find our minds wandering to problems at work or home, or to future plans.  At other times, rather than paying close attention to the person’s words, we may start thinking about how we are going to respond to them.  Or we may reflect on advice we want to give them when they stop talking.  If the person is angry, instead of listening to them, we may start planning our defense.  These communication patterns often leave people feeling unheard, discounted and/or disrespected.

This week, for one, two, three days or longer, practice giving people your full attention when they are talking to you. Sometime during the week, write a post about some aspect of this topic or about experiences you have when you listen  attentively. Feel free to use whatever form you desire: i.e., prose, story, poem, photograph, etc.  (If you don’t have a blog, please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below.)

I look forward to seeing where this challenge takes you.

The article that you link to this prompt should be a new post written specifically for this challenge.

 

General Prompt Information:

New prompts will be posted at 5 a.m. (PST) every Wednesday.

Since it is easier to make behavioral changes if we focus on them one day at a time, each of the weekly challenges will start with “Today, I focus on…….” It will be up to you to decide how long you want to focus on a particular challenge— one, two, three days or even longer. At some point during the week, publish a post that relates in some way to the subject of the week.

Link your post back to this prompt post. If the pingback doesn’t work, then leave the link to your post in the comment section below.  Be sure to include “Challenge for Growth Prompts” as one of your tags.

Throughout the week, I will publish the links for the posts that were created as the result of this prompt.  I will also post the links from those who participated the previous week. That way they will be seen by anyone who comes to this page.

 

This week’s contributors to I listen attentively:

I Hear You- Nik’s Place

Please Listen to Me- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Challenge for Growth Prompt #6- Home and Loving It

Challenge for growth prompts/ #6- Annette’s Place

How about you?

 

Last week’s contributors to I am Love:

I Am…- Nik’s Place

It Takes a Revolution- The Seeker’s Dungeon

I Am Love- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Love Has No Borders (haibun)- Tournesol dans un Jardin

I AM love (free verse)- Traces of the Soul

Stillness- Dancing to the Words

 

Maintaining Integrity in the Land of Secrets

There are so many way to address this week’s Dungeon Prompt about secrets.  I could talk from a therapy perspective about secrets in the family of origin.  I could talk about confidentiality between therapist and client.  I could talk about gossip.  What I decided to write comes from my own personal life and learning. Continue reading “Maintaining Integrity in the Land of Secrets”