A Hole in Her Heart

She sat on the floor in the corner of the darkened room.  Her knees were curled against her chest and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

She had been in psychotherapy for some time and she had made significant changes in her life, but she felt as if she was living in-between two worlds and didn’t belong in either.  She couldn’t go back to her old life because therapy had opened her eyes to reality; returning to a state of denial was not possible.  Her prior coping skills didn’t work anymore, but her new skills weren’t solid.  She felt awkward and clumsy as she tried out new ways of being in the world.

She was even more disturbed by the emptiness she still felt in her heart.  Her therapists, group members and friends had given her so much love, yet she still felt empty.  It was as if her heart was a bucket that had a hole in the bottom.  Whatever came in, flowed out within hours.  She wondered what was wrong with her.

As she sobbed in frustration, she had no way of knowing that only a week later she would sense that the hole had sealed over.  It didn’t stay sealed, but since it had clearly happened, she would begin to have hope that the sense of emptiness would end.

As the days and weeks continued to pass by, the hole would become securely sealed and her heart would begin to fill.  Never again would she experience that overwhelming sense of emptiness.

The change you seek may be just around the corner.

 

Creating Your World of Abundance

I suspect all of us prefer living from a sense of abundance rather than scarcity. Moving from scarcity to abundance, however, requires that we change our unhealthy beliefs and behaviors, many of which have probably become habits.

Over the years, some of my clients have found it helpful to make the abundance contracts that I describe in this post. Each contract is based on principles I have learned in my personal and/or professional journey. Continue reading “Creating Your World of Abundance”

Compassion Wins!

In June, I wrote a post Judgment or Compassion about the negative judgments I have whenever panhandlers approach me asking for money. Many readers commented on that post. Their responses were interesting and helpful to me, and hopefully to each other as well.

I decided to try Oliana’s suggestion of putting some dollars in my pocket and to generally give when asked, without thinking about it. I liked the experience of being free from negative judgments a lot. Feeling compassionate brought a smile to my face.  On the days I did that, there was only one time that I didn’t give anything, and that was when the person was obviously very drunk. I used my discrimination and chose to withhold the gift in that instance.

About a month ago, I had an experience that I considered not writing about but have decided to share it. There have been two times in my life when I have felt “tested” on this issue in a way that felt very mystical. In the first instance, I believed I failed the test. The second time was this recent occurrence. Continue reading “Compassion Wins!”

NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE

The Daily Post prompt for today is called Full Disclosure. We were given this information:

A mad scientist friend offers you a chip that would allow you to know what the people you’re talking to are thinking. The catch: you can’t turn it off. Do you accept the chip?

I don’t need to think twice about my answer to that question. It is: NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE, GET IT AWAY FROM ME, I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!  I hope my answer is clear to all concerned.

Years ago I observed that people who are psychotic say the things that go through their minds without editing their thoughts first. I pray that never happens to me since I know what a mess my mind is.

And there is no way I would want to hear anyone else’s unedited thoughts either!  I choose to stay in ignorance.

 

I Met Cheryl-Lynn!

20140713_212700I first became aware of Cheryl-Lynn when I read a comment she made on my son Sreejit’s blog The Seeker’s Dungeon. After reading subsequent comments from her, I realized I consistently resonated with the things she said. I decided to look at her blog Cher Shares and discovered she was a counselor. No wonder we had similar ways of thinking; I am also a counselor. Once I started my own blog in March of this year, we began corresponding regularly. Continue reading “I Met Cheryl-Lynn!”

When Our Paths Cross

I remember reading many years ago that whenever our life path crosses someone else’s, whether it be for a few minutes or an extended period of time, we have something to learn from the person and something to give them; that our meeting is no accident.  I don’t know if that is true, but I find it to be a useful concept regardless.

By nature I am a very strong introvert so it is easy for me to stay within myself and not interact with other people. I know when I do that, however, I am potentially missing out on some important opportunities.

I imagine from time to time, all of us meet people in situations where our meeting seems very synchronistic, times when we sense that something bigger than random chance is operating. During my last two trips to India, I had four experiences like that. Continue reading “When Our Paths Cross”

Your Worth

Many of my clients struggle so much with self doubt and feeling unworthy. This blog post by Owl McCloud addresses that issue using a metaphor that I think is very powerful. I hope you find it valuable too.

OwlMcCloud's avatarThe House of Wolves

ourcloudlounge5

We all know how much we are worth in this world. We been told our whole lives about our place on this planet. Told that we’re too old, too slow, too skinny, too fat, too boring, not fun enough, not sexy enough or stupid and worthless all together. When we hear this all thorough out our lives we sadly sometimes start to believe it. Lets play a quick game for some money, a man made valued item. How many of you reading this would love a free Twenty dollar bill$? I’m sure a few of you would but with if I balled it up, now who still wants ? Now what if I took that same balled up twenty and throw it on the floor and stepped on it, who still wants it? I’m betting the number of you that said you would take it in the beginning would still…

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Inspiration Comes in Many Forms

Sometimes, because of the chronic health problems and aches and pains that so often accompany growing older, plus the fact that my mother died at 74, I have felt like my life is winding down, even though most of me doesn’t think that is true. The dilemma about what I want to do when and if I retire adds to that unsettled feeling.

I met someone in India this past December who was such an inspiration. It is a memory I can hold in front of me during the times I am feeling down. Continue reading “Inspiration Comes in Many Forms”

A Complaint Free World

I have been disturbed recently by the amount of negativity that I have allowed to creep back into my speech. In my assessment, I am complaining entirely too much. While I haven’t felt well and I’ve been under a lot of stress, complaining certainly doesn’t help and it isn’t the way I want to be in the world. Then last night, I read this week’s writing prompt from Traces of the Soul. Oliana asked us to write about negativity, both our own negativity and the impact of being around others who are pessimistic and see a glass as half empty instead of half full. Continue reading “A Complaint Free World”

What a Difference Knowledge Makes!

20140528_073047I’ve lived in the same house for more than 40 years. There have always been rhododendrons in front of the house. They grow so fast they easily cover the big front windows. What the good of having plate glass windows if you can’t see out of them? Continue reading “What a Difference Knowledge Makes!”