A Hole in Her Heart

She sat on the floor in the corner of the darkened room.  Her knees were curled against her chest and tears were streaming down her cheeks.

She had been in psychotherapy for some time and she had made significant changes in her life, but she felt as if she was living in-between two worlds and didn’t belong in either.  She couldn’t go back to her old life because therapy had opened her eyes to reality; returning to a state of denial was not possible.  Her prior coping skills didn’t work anymore, but her new skills weren’t solid.  She felt awkward and clumsy as she tried out new ways of being in the world.

She was even more disturbed by the emptiness she still felt in her heart.  Her therapists, group members and friends had given her so much love, yet she still felt empty.  It was as if her heart was a bucket that had a hole in the bottom.  Whatever came in, flowed out within hours.  She wondered what was wrong with her.

As she sobbed in frustration, she had no way of knowing that only a week later she would sense that the hole had sealed over.  It didn’t stay sealed, but since it had clearly happened, she would begin to have hope that the sense of emptiness would end.

As the days and weeks continued to pass by, the hole would become securely sealed and her heart would begin to fill.  Never again would she experience that overwhelming sense of emptiness.

The change you seek may be just around the corner.

 

When They Think of Me…..

The Daily Post challenge for today was to answer the following question:

Sherlock Holmes had his pipe. Dorothy had her red shoes. Batman had his Batmobile. If we asked your friends what object they most immediately associate with you, what would they answer?

When I saw the challenge, nothing immediately came to mind. I decided to ask my friends the question directly. I was very curious to see how they would answer it. Continue reading “When They Think of Me…..”

Creating Your World of Abundance

I suspect all of us prefer living from a sense of abundance rather than scarcity. Moving from scarcity to abundance, however, requires that we change our unhealthy beliefs and behaviors, many of which have probably become habits.

Over the years, some of my clients have found it helpful to make the abundance contracts that I describe in this post. Each contract is based on principles I have learned in my personal and/or professional journey. Continue reading “Creating Your World of Abundance”

Compassion Wins!

In June, I wrote a post Judgment or Compassion about the negative judgments I have whenever panhandlers approach me asking for money. Many readers commented on that post. Their responses were interesting and helpful to me, and hopefully to each other as well.

I decided to try Oliana’s suggestion of putting some dollars in my pocket and to generally give when asked, without thinking about it. I liked the experience of being free from negative judgments a lot. Feeling compassionate brought a smile to my face.  On the days I did that, there was only one time that I didn’t give anything, and that was when the person was obviously very drunk. I used my discrimination and chose to withhold the gift in that instance.

About a month ago, I had an experience that I considered not writing about but have decided to share it. There have been two times in my life when I have felt “tested” on this issue in a way that felt very mystical. In the first instance, I believed I failed the test. The second time was this recent occurrence. Continue reading “Compassion Wins!”

NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE

The Daily Post prompt for today is called Full Disclosure. We were given this information:

A mad scientist friend offers you a chip that would allow you to know what the people you’re talking to are thinking. The catch: you can’t turn it off. Do you accept the chip?

I don’t need to think twice about my answer to that question. It is: NO, NEVER, NOT A CHANCE, GET IT AWAY FROM ME, I DON’T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!  I hope my answer is clear to all concerned.

Years ago I observed that people who are psychotic say the things that go through their minds without editing their thoughts first. I pray that never happens to me since I know what a mess my mind is.

And there is no way I would want to hear anyone else’s unedited thoughts either!  I choose to stay in ignorance.

 

I Met Cheryl-Lynn!

20140713_212700I first became aware of Cheryl-Lynn when I read a comment she made on my son Sreejit’s blog The Seeker’s Dungeon. After reading subsequent comments from her, I realized I consistently resonated with the things she said. I decided to look at her blog Cher Shares and discovered she was a counselor. No wonder we had similar ways of thinking; I am also a counselor. Once I started my own blog in March of this year, we began corresponding regularly. Continue reading “I Met Cheryl-Lynn!”

When Our Paths Cross

I remember reading many years ago that whenever our life path crosses someone else’s, whether it be for a few minutes or an extended period of time, we have something to learn from the person and something to give them; that our meeting is no accident.  I don’t know if that is true, but I find it to be a useful concept regardless.

By nature I am a very strong introvert so it is easy for me to stay within myself and not interact with other people. I know when I do that, however, I am potentially missing out on some important opportunities.

I imagine from time to time, all of us meet people in situations where our meeting seems very synchronistic, times when we sense that something bigger than random chance is operating. During my last two trips to India, I had four experiences like that. Continue reading “When Our Paths Cross”

Teaching kids………….

I just found this quote and picture on KSFINBLOG: Global Analyst. I love it and hope you do to!  Thank you for posting it KS.

ksfinblog's avatarK.S.@ksfinblog: Global Analyst

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Mixed Race Marriage/Mixed Race Children

The July 2014, AARP magazine reported that 15% of new marriages in the United States are mixed race marriages. Oh how times have changed! I don’t know what that percentage was when I married Al, an African-American man, in 1971, but it certainly was nowhere near 15%. Mixed marriage was even illegal in some places in the U.S. until 1967.

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Our wedding was in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco, but we moved to Seattle immediately afterwards.

Prior to our marriage, I was working at Highline County Hospital in Oakland. Just before I left for Seattle, an African-American colleague took me aside and advised me to keep my marriage a secret once I obtained a nursing job in Seattle. She said that if the hospital administration found out I had married a black man, I would be fired. Naturally, that news was very unsettling. Continue reading “Mixed Race Marriage/Mixed Race Children”