As a Bee Seeks Nectar

As a bee seeks nectar
from all kinds of flowers,
seek teachings everywhere.

Like a deer that finds
a quiet place to graze
seek seclusion to digest
all that you have gathered.

Like a madman
beyond all limits,
go wherever you please,
and live like a lion
completely free from all fear.

Dzogchen tantra

Wordless Wednesday

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Survivor’s Guilt

As a psychotherapist, I often encounter clients who feel guilty for surviving abuse or other tragedies. On the news this morning, I heard Patience Carter, a 20 year old who survived the Orlando massacre, read her poem “The Guilt of Being Alive is Heavy.” I will say no more. I believe her words eloquently reflect a message that is important for us to hear. My heart goes out to her and to survivors everywhere.

The Daily Prompt: Struggle

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When I think of the word “Struggle,” my attempt to learn to read, write and speak Sanskrit is what comes to mind. For the last four and a half years it has been a major focus in my life, one I feel very passionate about.

The classes I have been taking recently focus on immersion. The goal is to have no English spoken in the class, although some allowances are made. Almost all of the students are Indian and many of the words in their native languages are rooted in Sanskrit. Therefore, the Indian students tend to learn the Sanskrit vocabulary very fast. Even when they don’t know a word they may have a good idea of what it means.

When I start with a class of new Sanskrit students, I feel on reasonably even ground with them, or even ahead. As I proceed in the course, however, they quickly pull ahead of me and by the end I am not understanding much of the conversation that occurs. Eventually, I hit a brick wall where I feel hopeless.

I am in that place again. I have tried retaking the class and have learned a lot by doing that, but I don’t think I can meet my goal by continuing to retake it. I’m going to take a break from that kind of learning and do some independent study focusing on reading Sanskrit; listening to Sanskrit video conversations; speaking with and writing to friends who are also learning Sanskrit; and on building vocabulary. I intend to stay committed to my goal and hope to come back to a class format sometime in the future.

Another struggle I have been dealing with this year has been lower back problems. My life has been very different since that started in mid-February. Now that the problem is resolving, I can see that it would have been a perfect time for me to focus on my Sanskrit and on doing the spiritual practices I neglect. I feel sad that I didn’t take advantage of the long hours of down time to do those things but at the same time I know I can learn from the experience rather than live in regret. I can have compassion for the choices I made this time, and make different ones in the future.

I appreciate today’s Daily Prompt. It was helpful for me to examine the struggles in my life.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Pure

To me this photo represents purity, innocence, contentment, peace, and trust.

Amritapuri0018

Weekly Photo Challenge: Pure

Weekly Photo Challenge: Numbers

This challenge reminded me of a fun thing that happened on my last trip to Amma’s ashram in Amritapuri, India.

When I left my room to go to breakfast, I took the back stairs, as is my normal practice. I looked down at the stairs as I started to descend them. By my foot there was

one green bug

It reminded me of a bug I’ve seen in Seattle. Its color was brilliantly green, almost fluorescent. I passed it by but was afraid it would get stepped on so I came back and pushed it to the side of the stairs. I walked away but then realized how hot it was in the sun. The bug had looked like it was dying. It occurred to me that it would certainly die if I left it sitting in the sun so I went up the stairs again, got something to pick the bug up with, and took it to a part of the landing that had some shade. I placed the bug in a crevice and continued on my way. At the next landing there were

two black crows

sitting on the railing. We looked at each other for a moment. One cawed and then they both flew away. One green bug followed by two black crows; that was an interesting “co-incidence.” I looked over the railing and the first thing I saw were

three Indian girls

Okay, this feels like no co-incidence. I think I will play the game. I wonder what will be next. Now I’m on the first floor (which in India is one floor above the ground). I look ahead in the distance and at the far part of the hall I see a doormat with shoes on it. As I get closer I see there are

four thongs scattered on the mat

Going down the last set of stairs, I’m now on the ground floor. I turn the corner and pass the supply office where

five Indian family members are getting bedding

As I make may way to the cafe, I pass a bush with

six hibiscus flowers which are being picked by an Indian woman

Once I arrive at the café I see there are

five people ahead of me in the breakfast line

I order my food and take it to the table where

four friends eat breakfast together

I finish my food, wash my dishes and take them to the drying station where there are

three towels for drying dishes

I take my empty water bottle to the drinking water station where I find

two are filling water bottles

I fill my water bottle and then head back to my room. I push the elevator button. Soon there is

one person on elevator

Me!

I wish I had pictures to go with the experience but I was busy living it! I decided to be to content using a shot of one of the Amritapuri hibiscus bushes.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Numbers

I Don’t Know My Name

It has been years since I’ve watched “America’s Got Talent” but I put it on while I was waiting to hear the results of yesterday’s U.S. election primaries. I cried when I saw this performance last night, and cried even more when I watched it on YouTube a few minutes ago.

Judge Howie Mandel loved her performance so much that he hit the Golden Buzzer which allows her to go directly to the live shows that occur towards the end of the competition.

Wordless Wednesday

Welcome to North America Amma!

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I have written many posts about my spiritual journey with Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi) since I started blogging in 2014. My life changed profoundly when I met her in the summer of 1989. Since then, I have spent time with her yearly, during her North American programs and at her ashram in Amritapuri, India. My son Sreejit has lived in her ashrams in San Ramon and Amritapuri since 1994 and my daughter has lived in Amritapuri since 1998. Our lives are dedicated to supporting Amma’s mission/vision of alleviating suffering in the world. (Amma’s vast network of humanitarian charities is known as Embracing the World )

Just hours from now Amma will begin her first 2016 program in North America. That program will be held at the Edward D Hanson Conference Center in Everett, Washington (near Seattle). Between now and July 14 Amma will hold free programs in San Ramon, Los Angeles, Santa Fe, Dallas, Chicago, New York, Washington D.C., Boston and Toronto. Details of the Seattle area programs can be found at http://amma.org/meeting-amma/north-america/seattle-bellevue. To see her entire North American tour schedule go to: http://amma.org/meeting-amma/north-america.

I think the best way for me to share more about the experience of being with Amma is through three videos.

The first is a video of Amma feeding a fledgling that had fallen out of its nest.