Beautiful flowers
Amritapuri Flowers
Tag: spirituality
Living and Learning in Amritapuri (Dec 18-21, 2015)
Celebration
This is the 500th post I’ve published since I started this blog in March 2014! I like that it is a “Living and Learning in Amritapuri” post that gets that distinction.
Painting
Paint doesn’t last a long time here, probably because we are so close to the Arabian Sea. I imagine the salt water breaks it down. This is one of the years that the front of the temple is being repainted. The work is so intricate and temple becomes even more beautiful when it is freshly painted. I don’t take photos on the ashram grounds unless they are nature oriented but you can see what I’m talking about in this picture. I particularly wish you could see the horses clearly. If you zoom in you will be able to see more.
Christmas Play
I’ve been meaning to tell you about something that happened during the second week I was here. On one of the first play rehearsals, I walked into the room where the practice was being held, only to find Jesus sitting by the door meditating. I was startled; the experience was so surreal. It, of course, only took seconds to realize that it was the woman playing Jesus in the play but it felt so real for that brief moment. None of the other actors wear their costumes during the rehearsals, but I soon discovered she always does. It not only helps her get into character, but, I think, it also helps everyone get into the spirit of the play.
[Note: Traditionally in India the actors are either all men or all women. That used to be true in the plays offered by the ashram Westerner’s too, but over the years there have been more and more men in our plays. Some women still play men’s roles though.]
Yesterday was the dress rehearsal for all of the women and children. There are seven very young children who were wearing sheep costumes. They were SOOOOOOO cute. I expect to have pictures to share with you after the play.
Only a few more days until Christmas Eve, the night the musical will be performed!
Tai Chi
I am so loving this process. I am able to reach a meditative place that I haven’t been able to reach since the mid 90’s. I look forward to finding a Tai Chi teacher when I get back to Seattle.
Often there is a man practicing Kung Fu near where we practice Tai Chi. It seems like they have similar origins since they share a lot of the same moves, but the Kung Fu seems so violent compared to the gentle movements of the Tai Chi. Both are beautiful in their own way.
The fishermen are usually out in the sea when we have the morning class. One day this week, the men had their boats pulled up on the beach and they were working on the nets. I noticed a lot of the boats and the supplies were stored on the beach the next day, so I took some pictures.
Bhakti
My next door neighbor helps care for the ashram dogs when they aren’t with Amma. As a result, Bhakti, is frequently in or near her room. Bhakti is well loved at the ashram and is welcomed wherever she goes. Last year, I was amazed when I watched Bhakti wait for the elevator on the ground level, get on it when the door opened, and then get off when it arrived at our floor. Somehow she knew her second home was there.
Ants, Mosquitoes, Rain
If a moth dies during the night or if I drop some food on the ground, then a trail of ants usually comes. I discovered many years ago that it is generally possible for me to get the ants out of my room without killing them. If they are on a wall, I put some water in my hand and wetten the wall near the area where they seem to be going. When they get close to the water, they turn around and go back to wherever they came from. It even looks like they “talk” with their friends because the ants that are coming towards the wet area turn around and join the others when they see them going the other way.
There don’t seem to be many mosquitoes here this year. That has never happened before. I noticed it the other day but since mosquitoes usually don’t bother me, I thought maybe I was wrong. Yesterday, a long term resident mentioned the lack of mosquitoes to me, so at least some other people have that belief too.
It has continued to rain almost every day; often very hard rain. Most years there is no rain when I am here in December so this is a marked change. I assume the rain is the result of climate change; could the reduced number of mosquitoes be too? I think mosquitoes are another “pest” for me to research so maybe you will see an “Interesting Facts about Mosquitoes” post someday!
Lessons, Lessons, Lessons
I wrote the above part of this post last night before I went to bed (it is 13 ½ hours later in India than the U.S. so it is Tuesday morning here now.) When I finished, I had the feeling/thought/sense/belief that I hadn’t had much to share this year and hoped that the pictures I’ve put up have made my posts valuable to others. Even as I had those thoughts, I knew that my perception was probably off because of the comments I have received from people after reading my posts.
This morning I woke up realizing that I actually have been bombarded by lessons, leelas, tests, and experiences. Yes I am feeling hot, tired, run down emotionally and physically, but that, in part, is a side effect of the purification and learning processes that I am undergoing.
So if I look at things from that perspective I have more to say!
- My steady stream of “losing” things has slowed down considerably but not stopped. Everything that I had lost has “come back” except for the archana book. Many years ago when I was in a stream of losing things, I was so disturbed by it that I ended up deciding to see a psychologist. I wanted to rule out early onset Alzheimer’s and Multiple Personality Syndrome. Neither of those diagnoses seemed warranted but I wanted to hear that from a professional. The psychologist told me is that neither disease was present, but that my unconscious mind had found a fool proof way to get my attention. That was, and is, definitely the truth. I don’t think much else shakes me up as much as not being able to find things that should be easy to find.
- There are a lot of people who have flats here and live alone. To make sure no one is sick in their room without anyone knowing about it, we have to initial a paper first thing in the morning. Someone is assigned to check the room of anyone who has not signed in. Going to each person’s room takes them considerable time and effort. Generally, even though I have the best intentions, I forget to sign in three or four times during a trip. One day last week, I was headed downstairs to sign the paper and was congratulating myself for not having missed a single day this time. Imagine my surprise when I returned to my room later in the day and found a paper saying the person had come to check on me since I hadn’t initialed the paper. I must have become distracted on my way downstairs. A lesson in pride, not being present, and removal of ego I think.
- The auditorium here has no closed sides and is huge. The west part of it is used for dining room seating for the Western Café and Western Canteen and the east part is used for dining room seating for the Indian food line. (Anyone can eat at any of these places, but the type of food served is different for each.) There has been an ongoing problem with Westerners taking the dishes from the café and canteen to their rooms to eat. That results in a constant loss of dishes. Even though the dishes may ultimately be brought back, during the time they are in private rooms they are unavailable for the cafe/canteen to use. One day this week, I came downstairs to discover that the whole dining area had been roped off and there is a closed line of tables against the ropes. The only entrance to the dining area is now on the west side of the hall. During the meal serving, someone is posted by the exit to stop people from leaving with the dishes. If they want to take their food to their rooms, there are bowls, plates and spoons available for purchase for 10-60 rupees (15 cents to $1). It used to be possible to walk through the auditorium and dining area as a short cut to many places in the ashram so I’m finding the change to be a big nuisance although I can see that the new system is working very well and is needed. I realize it is an opportunity to work on staying even minded and to surrender personal comfort for the higher good.
- During the last two days, in my perception, my daughter and son were inundated with challenges. When that happens the mother bear in me comes out in force (“Mess with me but don’t mess with my kids”) and probably disrupts my piece of mind more than anything else. I know those lessons are important opportunities for them to learn as well as a chance for me to practice letting go and letting them have their own experiences, but it isn’t easy.
This list could go on and on but I’m going to stop. I think you can see why when people ask how my vacation was I say, or at least think, that it wasn’t a vacation. This is hard work. But I know the results are well worth going through the discomfort. I am learning and growing in a multitude of ways.
When I was looking for pictures for this post I saw the quote I put at the beginning. It seemed very relevant to what I had just written. Thank you Amma for helping me eliminate my ego so that the love inside of me can emerge.
To read the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/
1970: My Summer as a Migrant Farm Laborer #4 (Working in South Carolina)
After leaving Fort Valley, Georgia we drove to Greenville, South Carolina, but found no job there. We then drove about ten miles north and started asking people if they knew of any migrant camps. The first farmer we were directed to said his was an all-black camp and he wasn’t about to mix races; but, he gave us another name.
We followed his advice and went to the business he suggested. The owner was quite amused by us and willingly gave us a job. In fact, he let us work two hours that very afternoon.
The job issue was settled, but where would we stay? There were two crews; one black and one white. The white crew was comprised of single men. Mr. Robinson said we couldn’t stay with them, and we agreed with his decision. We had seen that the black camp had families, so we asked to stay there. He said we “wouldn’t last fifteen minutes in that camp.” I asked how that could be since there were so many children. The owner looked perplexed and told us that there were no children there. Then he thought for a moment and said, “Oh you mean the ‘n…..s’.” To him black children didn’t even qualify as “children.” I was outraged but knew it wasn’t safe to express my feelings and thoughts.
His solution to the lodging issue was to give us a cattle truck to sleep in. One night of that and we swore we’d never do it again, and meant it. The next day, we picked peaches for the whole day and earned $3.75 each. We knew we would have to wait at the packing shed for about two hours to get paid, so we decided to walk to the black camp to check it out for ourselves.
When we entered the camp, we talked to some of the people who were gathered. They had a bus, so we asked if we could sleep in it. They introduced us to Leroy, the black crew boss. He said it would be fine for us to stay in their bus. Later he told us they would be willing to set up beds in their kitchen for us.
With some hesitation, we decided to stay in the camp. The job paid so little, there didn’t seem any point to worrying about being fired when the owner found out we had disobeyed him. We had another reason for concern, however. We had been told before that the white people wouldn’t bother us for the things we did, but that they might take it out on the black workers. We talked to Leroy about our concern. He said our actions would not cause them any trouble, so we moved in.
Our new home
We made dinner and then everyone wanted Brenda to play the guitar so we could sing. We sat on the car with the kids and sang for hours.
We went to bed about 10 pm and then the night began. The black crew’s kitchen was in the same building that the white crew lived in. What separated the two rooms was a partial wall with a bit of screening above that. The white men were drinking and pretty soon were quite drunk. There was a lot of daring and betting going on and it really scared us. “They want to see what a migrant camp is like? Let’s show them what a migrant camp is like.” We had a few visitors that night, but were able to get them to leave by talking fast and shaming them. Luckily for us, they were mostly talkers, and a few of them were on our side. By 2:00 am they had given up. We slept for a while and then picked fruit the next day, earning $4 apiece.
We stopped at 1 pm and then drove to the post office in Greenville. Our checks from Ft. Valley were there. We were able to cash them by finding a minister who was willing to co-sign for us.
To prevent a repeat of the previous night, we had arranged with Leroy’s wife to lock the kitchen door from the outside and keep the key. Since we had received our checks, we planned to leave the next day.
The whites treated the blacks worse here than any place we’d been. As I mentioned, there was a white crew and a black crew. They were not allowed to mix with each other in the fields. The black workers got paid even less than we did, even though they had much more experience. The white crew had access to toilets, the black crew and their families used outhouses. The white men kept the black men up all night forcing them to do whatever they wanted. Black women were taken and used at the whim of white men. It was really ugly.
[Note: As I typed this story from the scrapbook, I was really struck with the difference in the content of the sentences in the last paragraph and Leroy’s assurance that there would no problems coming their way due to us staying in the camp. If I’m remembering right, the black men in this camp kept their distance from us, i.e. they did not interact with us. I don’t think it would have been safe for them to even speak with us. My guess is that Leroy, as crew boss, had privileges that the other men didn’t have.]
We sang again that night. This time we sang a lot of spirituals and folk songs and the people from the camp sang with us. We were having a good time; a little girl was brushing my hair. Then at 11 pm we heard a voice, turned around, and found three policemen standing behind us. One said, “We have orders from Mr. Robinson to get you off of his land.” I couldn’t believe it. We talked with them for a while but got nowhere.
I was upset, mad, furious, angry and not too happy. We couldn’t understand why Mr. Robinson hadn’t said anything to us when he saw us during the day, or why he had waited until 11 o’clock at night to throw us out. The people were as upset as we were. Leroy was there with shaving lotion all over his face and a razor in his hand. We said a lot of sad goodbyes and then left. As we were driving away, we asked the police if we could go the packing shed and talk to the owner if he was still there. (The shed was only two minutes away.) They were okay with us doing that.
When we arrived at the shed, we discovered that four of the crew members, three black and one white, were already there. The two crews had signed on for the whole season, but they were telling the owner that if he kicked us out at that time at night, by morning his camp would be empty. We were so surprised!
We talked to Mr. Robinson also. It was clear he didn’t believe it was safe for us to stay in the camp and he wouldn’t allow us to do so. We told him we were responsible for whatever happened and we felt perfectly safe. Since his crews had threatened to leave, he was under considerable pressure and finally gave in; he would let us stay until morning.
The policemen drove away. It would have been interesting to hear their thoughts about what had transpired that night.
The four of us and the representatives from the two crews triumphantly returned to the camp. It was obvious the people enjoyed us as much as we enjoyed them. We sure appreciated that they had intervened on our behalf. We sang for a while longer and then went to bed.
We had no further problems that night. The white men were noisy again, but they didn’t say a word about us. The next morning we departed the camp, and before long left South Carolina behind.
(The next post in this series will be published on Friday December 25.)
To read the previous posts go to:
1970: My Summer as a Migrant Farm Laborer (Series Intro)
1970: My Summer as a Migrant Farm Laborer #1 (Seattle to Florida)
1970: My Summer as a Migrant Farm Laborer #2 (Atlanta International Pop Festival)
1970: My Summer as a Migrant Farm Laborer #3 (Working in Georgia)
Living and Learning in Amritapuri (Dec 14-17, 2015)
Elephant, Dragonflies, Eagle
Lakshmi, one of the ashram elephants, has been out three times since I’ve been here. She is led into the courtyard by her trainers/attendants and the devotees, especially children, feed her. I love watching her take a whole clump of small bananas with her trunk and eat them all at once. These are some pictures of Lakshmi and Amma from 2011.
This morning during my Tai Chi class big dragonflies flew overhead. When I did some more Tai Chi in the evening, the eagles were soaring above us. Both scenes were so beautiful.
Play Preparation
Play preparation is happening everywhere. Practices, creation of the set design, costumes, backdrops, slides in Malayalam and English, lighting, sound, all occurring simultaneously. I generally go to one of the practices each day. So far they have been learning and reviewing one scene at a time. Starting on Sunday they will be putting it all together. It is so exciting. From my room I can hear many of the practices I don’t attend. In fact, at times I can hear the music even better from my room. The sound goes up I guess.
I am spending more time sewing costumes than last week although I only work on them 2-3 hours a day compared to Jani and Sumati’s night and day work.
There is one part of the play I am very eager to tell you about but will wait and until after it is performed on Christmas Eve.
Leelas abound
It is amazing how I can “lose” as many things in this one room as I do in my house. For several days this week I was not able to find my iPhone cord (and was very thankful I sensed I should bring two cords to India, and did), the Fitbit gadget (I don’t know what it is called) I put into my laptop’s USB port, and some tweezers. I looked for them for days and took everything in this room apart several times. When I couldn’t find a receipt I needed on Tuesday, it felt like the “last straw.” Within minutes of reaching that level of frustration, I found the phone charger and the Fitbit piece in places I had looked for them many times. They were practically in plain sight. I also remembered where I put the receipt. No tweezers though.
This scenario felt like something we call Leela (God’s play). No other way of seeing it made sense to me.
Soon after I wrote this section yesterday, I noticed that my meal card and my time card for Amma’s darshan (hug) had disappeared from my wallet. I felt sooooo frustrated and tired of this kind of leela. There will be more to this story later in the post.
[Note: Tokens are distributed to get Amma’s hug. It is a way to create some organization in the darshan process; there is no charge for the token. Yesterday the tokens for Westerners were given to people who had just arrived at the ashram, were leaving soon, or were new devotees. The rest of us who hoped to have darshan later were given time cards which would probably be exchanged for darshan tokens sometime in the evening.]
Journey to town
Yesterday, I had to go to town for a variety of reasons. Prior to 2006 when we went to town we had to take a canoe. When the tsunami hit in 2004 Amma transported everyone in the village and ashram to the mainland by boat because there was no nearby bridge. Over the next two years, the ashram built a bridge so people could get off the peninsula in an emergency. Having the bridge has also made it possible for us to walk to town whenever we want to go there.
The view from the bridge is gorgeous. This is what I saw when I went to town yesterday.
On the way back, I stopped at a shop and bought some fruit and crackers. The picture of the cashew crackers on the front of the box made them look so good. After I purchased them, someone asked what the ingredients list said. I took a look. No cashews at all! I imagine one of the “flavorings” that are mentioned on the ingredient list is something that tastes like cashews!
I remember hearing this year in the U.S. that one fast food company, I think it was McDonalds, was going to start using more real food. The example that was given was that they were going to use real black pepper! I was perplexed. Why would anyone use fake black pepper? It didn’t seem like black pepper would be an expensive ingredient, certainly not as expensive as cashews.
T-shirt
I saw a t-shirt I liked the other day. On the back it said:
Love & Serve
Give & Forgive
~Amma
More Leelas
While leelas mean “God’s Play,” they don’t tend to be fun. I see them as challenges, tests, lessons, etc. They can lead to an emotional roller coaster. Sometimes when one happens over and over like what I described above, all you can do is shake your head and laugh, and continue riding the wave, roller coaster, or whatever metaphor you want to use.
I felt sad after I lost my time card. I knew the crowds would be really big starting this coming weekend, and I thought that last night would be the only time I would have a chance to go for Amma’s hug until just before I leave the ashram in January. For the next couple of hours I looked for the man who was in charge of the tokens for Westerners. I didn’t think he would replace the lost time card, but it never hurts to ask. I never saw him, and it was getting late. Even though it was only about 8 pm I was so tired.
I decided to go talk to my daughter Chaitanya and see if she had any advice. She has nothing to do with tokens in India but she is one of the people in charge of them on the foreign tours so I thought she might have an idea. I really wanted to go for darshan that night. As we were talking, Chaitanya glanced out of the cafe window and saw that the token person was standing right there! She asked him if he was going to be able to hand out more tokens that night and he said only to people who had just arrived or were leaving. I told him I had lost my time card. He said “Oh, you had a time card? Here, you can have the last of the ‘regular’ darshan tokens!” I was happy and relieved. I could have my hug, and the leela was over, maybe.
For the next hour or so I waited in the line and got my time with Amma. So nice. I felt content and headed for my room. As I got near the elevator, I looked for the key to my room and discovered it was gone. That was another one of those shaking my head times. To me these experiences are practice in staying calm, going with the flow, being patient, being persistent, letting go, and/or learning to do whatever it takes. I reviewed where the key could possibly be. I had locked the room when I left it and put the key in my bag. The only thing that made sense was that I must have dropped the key when I pulled my wallet out of the bag to buy some fruit to give Amma during my darshan. I walked back to that table and found the people who staffed it in the last stages of putting everything away. I asked the woman if she had found a key and she handed my key to me! I was very thankful that the leela was short lived.
This morning, I discovered this set of leelas still aren’t done, which is no surprise. I had not gone to the morning prayers the day before, so forced myself to get out of bed for them this morning. When I was ready to leave my room for the temple, I discovered my chanting book was not in the place I leave it EVERY day when I return from the prayers. I quickly looked around the room and it was nowhere to be found. Did I drop it when I came back from the prayers two days ago? Or will it show up out of nowhere like the other items? Who knows.
The only chanting book I could find was a copy I have that is written in Devanagari script (Sanskrit). By then I was so late for the prayers that there was no way I was going to find where they were in the book, particularly when I would be reading it in Sanskrit script. I haven’t studied any Sanskrit since I’ve been here so thought maybe I was supposed to be working on that. I stayed in my room and read the chant from that book, slowly, until the people in the temple were finished with the morning prayers. Looks like it is going to be another day of challenge. Oh…. and I found the lost tweezers within a minute of finding out I had lost the chanting book!
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
“I will accept each challenge as it comes and will learn and grow as a result.”
To see the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/
Early Morning Beauty
Each morning when I take the Tai Chi class this is what I see:
Beauty in front of me
And beauty above me
Yesterday there were also eagles flying overhead most of the class! I will watch and see if they are there every day.
Living and Learning in Amritapuri (Dec 8-13, 2015)
Tai Chi
I’m still dragging. I know part of it is from the heat and part is from having a cold, but I’ve realized that the Tai Chi I am doing is probably the main culprit. I believe, and my Tai Chi teacher confirmed, that the process is releasing toxins that need to move through and out of my body. My body is softening and I can move in ways that I couldn’t do two weeks ago. Tai Chi is meditative and it is allowing me to find that part of myself again. The last two times I’ve gone to meditations with Amma, I have slipped into a meditative state. My mind is so active that I haven’t had that experience for many years. I am so excited!
Chennai
Amma sent rescue workers to Chennai when the flooding first happened. Yesterday there were signs around the ashram asking western residents and visitors to go to Chennai to help with the clean-up effort. Forty left for Chennai last night and I heard that more may go today.
Nature
I share my room with this friend (Hold cursor over pictures to see captions; click on photos to enlarge them.)
On the ceiling
India- on the wall
One day I saw this creature cross the path in front of me. I couldn’t believe the speed it was moving. It certainly wasn’t a worm and I didn’t think a centipede could move that fast. Turns out it was a millipede, or at least that is what I was told.
Among the things I’ve been dealing with this year are termites. That’s not surprising since this is the tropics. Actually, I’m a bit surprised that I’ve had wood furniture for this long without them. Last week, Akshay removed the wood in the shelves above my window. That stopped the droppings that were forming below the shelves so I’m hoping it solved the problem.
Earlier this year I researched and posted information about a variety of ‘pests’, e.g. slugs, ants, and aphids. I learned so much through that process and my respect for those creatures really increased. I think I will write one on termites. I’m very eager to learn more about them.
Play Preparation
I’ve been to several of the play rehearsals. I love it as much as I always do. Chaitanya asks me to edit the script once she finishes it so I know what the story is about but to see it move from words on paper to a play that comes alive always feels miraculous. The music, acting, props, costumes, etc. are so good.
Jani and Sumati have been working on the costumes night and day. I’m beginning to help but am not doing nearly as much as they are. As I feel better I hope to help more.
Sumati
Sheep costumes children will wear
Patience or lack thereof
I had very poor internet connection for the last four days. It has been very frustrating and I haven’t been very patient about it. Yesterday I started the process of getting a new internet stick. (To get cell phone SIM cards and internet sticks you have to have copies of passports, visas, passport photos, fill out applications, and wait through many lines. It is a test of patience in and of itself.) I was able to pick up the new stick and activate it a few minutes ago. So far it feels like SUCCESS. If so, you will more probably hear from me more often!
Sreejit
This morning I bought cinnamon rolls and took them to the place where Sreejit cooks. HAPPY BIRTHDAY SREEJIT!
To see the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/
Living and Learning in Amritapuri: (Dec 3-7, 2015)
Once I started sleeping around the clock, my body healed rapidly. I’m not back to normal but I’m getting there.
Spiritual Practices
I’ve historically done a lot of seva but have never made other forms of spiritual practice a priority. One of my goals for this trip is to really increase the amount, and quality, of time I spend doing spiritual practices. Participating in the morning prayers, is an important part of that endeavor. They start at 4:55 am and last about an hour and fifteen minutes. They consist of chanting the 108 names of Amma, the Sri Lalita Sahasranama Stotram and the Mahishasura Mardini Stotram.
The last stotram is a tribute to Durga, who is considered to be the Mother of the World, responsible for the creation, preservation, and destruction of the world. Last week, the translation of one verse caught my eye and touched my heart.
O Mother! Even a simple sweeper in Your courtyard inherits all heavenly pleasures. Be pleased to accept my humble service and grant to me whatever You consider to be good for me.
I found a YouTube version of the Mahishasura Mardini Stotram that sounds very similar to the way we sing it.
I generally tend to run from one activity to another. I decided one way I would honor my intention to give increased importance to my spiritual practices is to slow down. After the morning prayers, a relatively small group of people stay to brush themselves with the smoke coming from the camphor flame after Arati is offered to the Kali murti. Instead of rushing out of the temple at the end of the morning prayers, I committed to myself to routinely stay and participate in that ritual. I haven’t done that for many, many years.
Another way I am increasing my sadhana (spiritual practice) is by learning Tai Chi. Today was my first day back in that class since I became sick. I loved it as much as I did the first week. The practice leads me into a meditative state, something I really need. I have no doubt I will continue the lessons when I return to Seattle.
Play practice
Yesterday everyone that is going to be involved in this year’s play met together for an hour. Chaitanya told the story that is the basis for the play. I always enjoy being present for that introduction. As I was writing this portion of my post, there was a practice for the singers going on nearby. I could hear the music from my room. The songs are so beautiful.
Swimming
When I was getting sick, it was suggested that I go swimming as a way of cooling my body down. That sounded like a good idea to me. I had long ago given away my swimming dress, so I went to the store and bought a new one. I had heard that the style had changed, and it was true. In the early days, it was a simple dress with straps and elastic at the top. When we were in the pool, the dress often billowed up above the water like a balloon! Now the dresses are a bit like pantaloons, without the elastic at the bottom. I hung up my new one so I could take a photo to show you.
As I swam around the pool, I had so many memories. The ashram built the swimming pool sometime in the mid to late 90’s. Amma used to take us to the pool; the women first and later the men. It was such a special time for us to be with her. I remember her pushing us into the pool one by one! During that time, Amma also gave swimming lessons to the brahmacharinis (female monks). In India, at least in the fishing village where the ashram is located, boys play in the sea but girls don’t, so the girls never have any opportunity to learn to swim. Many of the brahmarcharinis were very frighted at even the thought of swimming.
After playing with us, everyone would get out of the pool and Amma would swim by herself. She would lie on her back, in full lotus position, and go into a deep meditative state. Her body would then float around the entire pool without any muscle movement on her part. It was so beautiful to witness.
I also remembered Amma bringing village children to the ashram after the 2004 tsunami. The children were so frightened of the ocean since many of their loved ones had been killed during that event. Amma and the ashramites took the children to the pool, played in the water with them, and taught them how to swim. They learned to once again associate the water with something other than death.
My Room
I live in a small flat that has a main room, a small bathroom and a kitchen that consists of a sink, a cupboard, a counter and a propane burner! I eat in the various ashram dining areas but it is nice to make tea in my room occasionally and I love being able to add a cup or two of hot water to the bucket of cold water I use for my morning shower.
Ashram Changes
I’ve been noticing a new construction area that is located immediately outside of the north gate. I don’t remember what was there before, if anything. When I asked someone if they knew what was being built, I was told the international office is going to be moved there. Everything that is now on the fourth floor of the temple, i.e. seva office, computer room, information office, gift shop, etc. will move into the building the international office currently occupies. All of the rooms on the fourth floor of the temple will then be available to be used for visitors’ sleeping rooms.
The other big change that I discovered yesterday is that there is now a new IAM (meditation) hall and an Amrita Yoga hall. The rooms are located on the second or third story of the same building that housed the old Yoga Shala. They are huge rooms and are so beautiful. Three sides of the rooms are almost completely open to the outside, with netting to keep the birds out.
Disaster Relief
Amma usually takes us to the beach to meditate on Monday’s, prior to the evening bhajan program. It looked like it was going to rain tonight, so we met in the auditorium instead. When I arrived, Amma was already there and was talking about the flooding in Chennai. She had sent teams of volunteers to Chennai, right from the beginning, to rescue people from their houses and to provide food, clothes and medical care.
At the end of the meditation, Amma showed us a video of the rescuers releasing the water from the houses in order to free the residents. If I find that video, I will post it.
A Message from the World’s Astronauts
For many years, Amma has urged us to do what we can do as individuals and together to heal the earth. As I was reflecting on that topic last night, I remembered hearing about a video that was shown at the Climate Change conference that was held in Paris this week. In the video, the world’s astronauts sent an important message to those attending the conference. I was able to find the video and will use it as a powerful and moving way to end this post.
To see the earlier posts in this series go to: https://livinglearningandlettinggo.wordpress.com/india/
What a Difference Attitude Can Make!
Soon after I arrived in Amritapuri, I had the foolish thought that this might be the year that I don’t have any experiences to share. I say foolish because I don’t believe there ever was any remote possibility that could happen.
My first week was full of challenges. In hindsight, I see that I was receiving endless opportunities to choose between two possible attitudes. For example:
- I could lament that I left my good thongs in Seattle, or instead choose to be grateful that I had felt drawn to pick up and pack a cheap pair of thongs that, for the last two years, had been lying on the floor of an empty room where I work.
- I could suffer about the fact that my internet stick was not where I believed I had left it last January or instead choose to do what it took to get another one.
- I could berate myself for not remembering that I needed to bring a water filter or instead choose to look for creative ways to solve the problem.
- I could bemoan that the seva (volunteer work) I look forward to most in Amritapuri (separating worms from the fertilizer they produce) was no longer an option or instead choose to appreciate that I would have more time to support the development of the Christmas play.
- I could obsess about the seemingly endless internet and phone problems I was experiencing or instead choose to see those problems as opportunities to practice equanimity while doing what needed to be done to solve them, one step at a time.
I will describe three other examples in more detail:
1) The evening of December 2, I was about to go to my room when someone walked up to me and asked if I would be willing to hand Amma prasad (the candy she gives devotees after she hugs them). That is one of my favorite sevas so I eagerly accepted the invitation and joined the prasad line. As I reached the front of the line and took the position next to Amma, a western man came for his hug. He started speaking to her in beginner’s level Malayalam. Amma and he were having a great time laughing about his speaking attempt. Afterwards, he handed Amma three malas (prayer bead necklaces). He wanted Amma to put them on him. Once she did that, he pulled out another handful of malas made from a different substance and asked her to put those on him too. He went through that sequence two more times. The last set was a handful of about 15 rosewood malas. It was a rather bizarre scene, especially since he was now wearing around 30 malas. I imagined he had plans to give them away to friends at home but having her put them on him was a rather bizarre change from normal practice of simply asking Amma to bless the malas he would be giving as gifts. Amma and he were laughing and so was everyone who was witnessing the incident. To me it seemed like “no accident” that I was present for that entire encounter.
I had not been able to sleep for more than two or three hours at a time since I arrived in India on November 28, so was hopeful that night would be different. You can imagine how upset I was when, after 2 ½ hours of sleep, there was a huge ruckus between nearby dogs. Once I wake up, sleep is over for the night. How long could I live like this? I had to get some sleep! Would the dogs start barking again? Would they continue to be a problem throughout my stay? It didn’t even occur to me that they hadn’t barked during the previous nights and dogs had never been a problem in the past. I was too sleepy and too lost in fear of the future to think clearly.
It did occur to me that I had been in bliss when I went to bed and now felt like I was in hell. I realized it was a good example of how quickly our minds can change our reality. While I struggled with the fear for the rest of the night, I found it immensely helpful to recall my experience of witnessing the interaction between Amma and the man with the malas. As I smiled with the memory, I let go of some of my tension. What a gift that prasad experience had been for me. So in a situation like this, I could choose to stay in the fear, or consciously focus on a time when I was happy, reminding myself that this current challenge will pass.
2) With the ongoing lack of sleep, it soon became obvious I was developing a cold. On the afternoon of December 4, I felt strongly pulled into sleep and I slept almost continually for the next 36 hours, getting up only for meals and for meeting bathroom needs. I realized I could focus on how many things I was missing out on while I was sleeping or could instead choose to be grateful that:
- as I moved in and out of sleep when Amma was leading bhajans (devotional songs) that night, I heard small portions of them from my room. Each bhajan segment I became aware of was a favorite of mine. I wasn’t sure whether I was really hearing the songs or if I was dreaming I was hearing them. Regardless of whether it was a dream or reality, I could choose to believe that experience was a gift from Amma to me.
- during the short time I went downstairs for dinner on Dec. 5, Swami Pranavamrita sang Kalam Kanalu and a Swami Ayyappa song. I have a special history with both of those songs so I could choose to take them as yet another gift to me.
- since I have been sleeping around the clock the swelling in my feet has gone away. Perhaps the jet lag will also be gone when this illness has run its course! I can choose to believe that my sickness has multiple purposes and they are all good ones.
3) I have felt pulled to learn Tai Chi for several years but the pull was not strong enough for me to take action. Before I left Seattle, I knew that this was the year for me to start, so I enrolled in the classes as soon as I arrived in Amritapuri. One lesson was all I needed to take to know that it was so right for me. The process quickly brought my mind and body into a meditative stillness. I could tell some part of me recognized the moves and knew what to do. I could berate myself for taking this long to begin, or I could choose to remember that my life will unfold in its own time and acknowledge that now must be the perfect time for me to start Tai Chi.
All in all, during the eight days I have been at the ashram, I think I have done a pretty good job of choosing to not make myself miserable by taking on negative attitudes and instead consciously choosing positive ones. The time I was least successful in that endeavor was the night the dogs woke me up. All of these events have reminded me that I can choose my attitude towards the lessons, challenges, and tests that come my way, and that my attitude will make a significant difference in my experience.
And So It Begins…….
My spiritual teacher, Mata Amritanandamayi, who is more commonly referred to as Amma, visits cities across North America each summer and then returns to offer programs in San Ramon, California and Michigan each November. I have not attended her November programs for several years since they are so close to the time when I take my yearly sojourn to her ashram in India. In fact, I often depart for India when Amma is still in Michigan.
It has been three or four years since I’ve been to the Michigan programs and I haven’t been to either the summer or the fall programs in San Ramon for six to eight years. I was surprised a month ago when I felt the strong desire to participate in the first two days of the November meetings in San Ramon. The desire stayed with me, so I booked my plane ticket and reserved a hotel room.
I had several goals:
- Spend time with Amma and receive her darshan (hug).
- See the changes that have taken place in her San Ramon ashram
- Walk the land
- Visit with the many friends I have in Amma’s community
- Be open to any learning opportunities that emerged
Time with Amma is always filled with so many experiences and it often seems like time is suspended. So even though I would only be there for two days, it would no doubt feel like a week. Whenever I am in Amma’s presence, life lessons seem to speed up and so many synchronicities occur. I looked forward to discovering what would happen on this trip.
I am writing this post after having returned from the San Ramon programs. I could write several chapters of a book about my experiences, but have decided to tell you my adventures in walking the land!
In the years since I was last in San Ramon, my life has taken a turn. I have become much more focused on Mother Nature. My eyes have opened and I now see things I never saw before, or at least I see them in a different way.
I knew that Amma had asked the San Ramon devotees to plant orchards on the property, so seeing those was definitely a priority. When I got out of the car on my first day, I looked across the parking lot and saw that there was a big orchard in the distance, nestled in the hills.
I arrived at the ashram several hours before Amma would come to the program hall so I decided to visit that orchard first. I asked a friend how to get their and he gave me a vague idea of how to find the path.
I followed those directions and found a path of sorts. As I made my way through the forest, there were times when fallen trees blocked my path. I crawled over or under them and continued on. (Note: If you click on any of the picture galleries, the photos will be enlarged.)
Taking this kind of walk reminded me of playing in the woods near my home when I lived on an army base in Germany as a child. Those were some of the happiest times of my childhood.
As I made my way towards an orchard I couldn’t see, I kept the vision of my first glimpse of the fruit trees in front of me. As I walked, I could see small portions of parked cars through the trees from time to time. I realized I was near some of the new parking lots, so felt assured I was going the right direction.
When I came out of the wooded area, I discovered there was a road going from the parking lot to the orchards. If I had known about it I would have reached my destination much faster, but I would have missed the journey and so much beauty.
Soon I arrived at the orchard. It covers quite a large area and was impossible to photograph in its entirety. It is late fall now so the trees look very different than they would have looked in spring and summer, but they were still a welcome sight to see.
Later that day, I explored the orchard that is between the main ashram house and the temple. There have been fruit trees in that location for many years, but now that area is totally devoted to the orchard and some solar panels.
My second, and biggest, “Walk the Land” adventure happened the following day. Around 11:00 a.m., I decided I wanted to walk from the main house to the house where Amma stays. I have taken that journey many times in the past, but not for years. It is some distance away so I thought it would take about forty-five minutes to get there and back.
It had rained during the night so there were areas of the path that were a bit muddy but it was still easy to walk on. There are many different types of terrain on that route and it was so beautiful. At one point, I saw another woman standing near a gully in front of me. I stopped and talked with her for a while and then continued on my way.
At one point, I decided the house was further than I wanted to go on that day. I decided I would only walk until I was at the point where I could see the house.
Once there, I turned around and headed back to the main ashram.
All was well until I reached the place where I had met the woman. At that point, I could no longer see a path. I had been distracted by talking with her and had not focused on any landmarks.
I found what could have been the path and took it, but it soon ended. I tried one “path” after another but they went nowhere. I was finding myself in areas where the land was wetter and I started slipping in the mud. I slid whether I was going up or going down.
It occurred to me that I hadn’t told anyone I was taking this walk, and that was a mistake. I had my cell phone so I could make a call, if there was phone reception, but otherwise no one would have any idea where I was. Anyone looking for me would just assume I had returned to my hotel.
What to do? Take one step at a time and keep moving forward. Try one route and then another. Deal with whatever comes up.
My shoes were caked with mud, making me slip even more. I decided to let go of any concern that my clothes stayed clean. When I needed to, I scooted downhill on my bottom or crawled where I wanted to go on my hands and knees.
I remembered my years of going to Christ in the Desert monastery in Abiquiu, New Mexico. That monastery was 13 miles from the main highway and in those days the road to it was made of dirt. One side of the road was against a hill and on the other side there was a steep drop off. When it rained, the road became very slippery. One time I visited, the mud was so deep that it totally filled the tread of the tires. We swerved on that slippery surface as if we were driving on bald tires.
I realized that same thing had happened to my shoes. While the shoes didn’t have tread and were mostly smooth even when dry, they did have some small ridges. Remembering my experience with the tires, I sat down on the wet leaves, took off my shoes, pounded them against the earth and then used a twig to scrape off the thick mud. I was able to walk a little better after doing that.
After many more dead ends, I found myself face to face with a hill that went straight up. I probably remember it as being much higher than it actually was, but it was high enough that I had no idea what was on the other side. It seemed fruitless for me to continue walking on the lower ground, so I contemplated going up the hill. How would I do that though? The side of the hill was primarily made of wet clay, with some sporadic clumps of grass. I just slipped down it when I tried to climb.
I then recalled hearing that mountain climbers get up mountains by making holes where they can place their hands and feet and use those holes to boost themselves up the mountain one step at a time. I found that the clay was malleable so I started creating holes for my hands and feet. I did not look up and I did not look down. I focused only on making the holes and taking one step after the other. In that way, I moved up the steep hill.
I had no idea where I was, so didn’t know what I would find when I made it to the top. Once there, I was relieved to discover I was still on the ashram grounds. I was quite a distance from where I started, but I knew how to get back to the beginning of the path and did so.
Many years ago, my daughter had a challenging experience. After it was over, I asked if she had been afraid. She said, “No, I felt like Indiana Jones!” During this adventure, a part of me also felt like Indiana Jones, and I loved the sensation. It was as if I had been tested, and emerged victorious!
I recognized that throughout the challenge I had stayed true to so many of the attitudes I do my best to live by.
- Focus on the moment, not the future
- Live in awareness.
- Take one step at a time.
- Have faith.
- Trust that my life is unfolding as it should.
- Realize that the lessons I have learned in the past have prepared me for challenges I face in the present.
- Believe that I can deal with whatever happens
As I said at the beginning of this post, there were many other special moments during my two days with Amma but these are the one I have chosen to share. I will be leaving for Amma’s India ashram soon, and know that my days there will be filled with lessons. My time in San Ramon seems like the beginning of my next India adventure, thus my title for this post, “And so it begins……”
(Note: This post was not written with the Weekly Photo Challenge: Victory in mind, but it certainly fits the criteria so I will use it for that purpose as well!)
Letting Go and Lightening Up
For years, I taught a workshop that included a guided imagery experience where participants, in their mind’s eye, emptied every room in their house and placed the contents of those rooms outside onto an ever-growing pile of belongings. I also had them visualize how big a nomad’s pile might be if he did the same thing.
Can you imagine creating that kind of a pile for yourself, i.e. removing every item from your living room, bedrooms, kitchen, bathrooms, dining room, basement, garage and every other room in your house and turning it into a mountain of belongings? How big would your pile be? Do the same process for a nomad. How does your pile compare to the nomad’s?
Next, I had the participants add all of the earth’s resources they believe they use in a year’s time to their piles, and asked them to “see” the nomad doing the same.
What would your pile look like if you added all the food you eat, the trash you discard, as well as all of the water, oil, natural gas, gasoline, wood and other resources you use in a year to your other belongings? See the nomad doing the same thing. How does your pile compare to the nomad’s?
Through that guided imagery, I hoped to give the workshop participants a sense of the “weight” belongings may add to their lives. I also wanted to give them a taste of the difference between wants and needs. Many attendees left that workshop with plans to organize a garage sale as soon as possible!
Does seeing your mountain of belongings give you a sense of being burdened or weighed down? How many of your belongings are wants and how many are needs? How many of your wants are very important to you?
I have lived in the same house in Seattle since 1973. You can imagine how much “stuff” I could have accumulated in 42 years. I have always valued experiences over material belongings though, so have used my financial resources to take trips to India rather than buying a lot of material possessions.
Even so, over the years my shelves, drawers, and closets filled. Around eight years ago, I decided I was going to give away anything I hadn’t used in the last five years, unless I planned to use the item in the near future. One of the articles I gave away at that point was a loom I had purchased in 1974. I hadn’t used the loom since my children were born. For decades, I told myself I would start using it once my son and daughter grew up and left home. They both moved out in the 90’s and I still hadn’t use the loom, so in 2007, I added it to my “to go” pile. I did a major purging of stuff that year.
Several years later, I felt compelled to go through my belongings again. This time I wanted to create an empty shelf every place in the house where shelves were located. I loved the sense of relaxation and peace I felt when I gazed at those open spaces. The shelves stayed empty until I decided to take in a roommate; at that time the empty shelves were needed for the roommate’s possessions.
Last year, I again felt pulled to reduce my belongings. The desire was so strong I wondered if something was about to happen. Was I going to be moving? Was I preparing for my impending death? (I have no terminal disease but fantasies can take any form!) I still don’t know the “why” but even as I write this post, my yearning to further decrease my possessions is stronger than ever.
Now I am giving away anything that I haven’t used in the last two years unless I have a strong desire to keep it. Once again, I have become a regular at the Goodwill drop off station!
I am loving the sense of lightening-up I am experiencing as I continue to let go of personal belongings I no longer need or want!
Living, Learning and Letting Go 