The Daily Prompt: Struggle

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When I think of the word “Struggle,” my attempt to learn to read, write and speak Sanskrit is what comes to mind. For the last four and a half years it has been a major focus in my life, one I feel very passionate about.

The classes I have been taking recently focus on immersion. The goal is to have no English spoken in the class, although some allowances are made. Almost all of the students are Indian and many of the words in their native languages are rooted in Sanskrit. Therefore, the Indian students tend to learn the Sanskrit vocabulary very fast. Even when they don’t know a word they may have a good idea of what it means.

When I start with a class of new Sanskrit students, I feel on reasonably even ground with them, or even ahead. As I proceed in the course, however, they quickly pull ahead of me and by the end I am not understanding much of the conversation that occurs. Eventually, I hit a brick wall where I feel hopeless.

I am in that place again. I have tried retaking the class and have learned a lot by doing that, but I don’t think I can meet my goal by continuing to retake it. I’m going to take a break from that kind of learning and do some independent study focusing on reading Sanskrit; listening to Sanskrit video conversations; speaking with and writing to friends who are also learning Sanskrit; and on building vocabulary. I intend to stay committed to my goal and hope to come back to a class format sometime in the future.

Another struggle I have been dealing with this year has been lower back problems. My life has been very different since that started in mid-February. Now that the problem is resolving, I can see that it would have been a perfect time for me to focus on my Sanskrit and on doing the spiritual practices I neglect. I feel sad that I didn’t take advantage of the long hours of down time to do those things but at the same time I know I can learn from the experience rather than live in regret. I can have compassion for the choices I made this time, and make different ones in the future.

I appreciate today’s Daily Prompt. It was helpful for me to examine the struggles in my life.

Seeing What Is

In 1973, when Al and I bought the house I still live in, the yard was beautiful. An elderly couple had lived there for more than 40 years. It was obvious that much of their time had been devoted to taking care of the grounds. Because of divorce, child-rearing, working, going to school, etc. it was impossible for me to do all the work that was necessary to maintain the yard and the landscaping disintegrated. I yearned to have the property be beautiful again.

One day, I was standing with a friend in my back yard bemoaning the disarray. She said “Karuna, just look around you.” That was probably 15 years ago, so the trees are taller now, but what I saw when I looked around that day was similar to these photos I took yesterday. (You can enlarge the pictures by clicking on the galleries.)

The view was stunning. I realized that by putting my focus on what I didn’t like, I had become blind to the beauty that surrounded me.

Last year, I discovered another situation where I was not seeing something that was in front of me. The tree in the photos below is so close to my top deck that some of the branches actually touch it. The tree’s budding and blooming process is fascinating. How could I not have noticed it before?

(Note: To see the whole tree go to Branches Reach for the Sky.)

Have you ever not seen something that was directly in front of you because you were so focused on something else? I believe that experience takes many different forms, whether it be like the examples I’ve shared in this post, or a lost item showing up in a place we’ve looked for it many times. It could even be not seeing how lovable and capable we are or how much other people care about us because we are focused on traumas from the past or fear of the future.

Consider sharing ways you have not seen what is in front of you in the comment section below or in one of your own posts!

Laughing with God

My favorite joke is- Question: Do you know how to make God laugh? Answer: Tell him your plans for your life. I believe I gave God the chance to laugh last week.

My story actually begins early last December. At that time I started writing a post for The Seeker’s Dungeon, a post about my resistance to doing a spiritual practice that Amma, my spiritual teacher, asks us to do every day. That practice is to chant the Sri Lalita Sahasranama, a sacred Hindu text that consists of 1000 names of the Divine Mother, the female part of God. Amma says that chanting that text will benefit both the person chanting it and the world. Because of some past experiences, I have no doubt that it would be beneficial for me to follow Amma’s direction, but I still don’t do it.

I worked on writing the post, while attempting to overcome my resistance at the same time. I soon became very frustrated. Part of my frustration was because I wanted to end the post having happily vanquished my resistance. I saw no such ending in sight. After years of reinforcement, my resistance was solidly mired. The second week in March, I finally accepted the fact that the post was going to end with me as fully entrenched in my resistance as when I started it. I published “Dealing with My Resistance” in The Seeker’s Dungeon on March 11.

About the same time, I received an email from my spiritual group in Seattle saying that during our weekly meeting on April 9, we would be chanting the Sri Lalita Sahasranama not just once, but three times. Since each round would take 45 minutes, I believed we would not be singing any bhajans (devotional songs), which is my favorite part of the gathering. My immediate internal response was “I’m not going.”

Following hot on the heels of this new opportunity for resistance, came the due date for the weekly Challenge for Growth prompt I offer to the blogging community. It occurred to me that “resistance” would make a good topic as I knew I wasn’t the only person with this issue. What might other bloggers write on the subject? I decided the challenge for the week would be for participants to do something they were resistant to doing. I posted the new prompt on March 16.

On March 17, I started thinking about what my response to the prompt would be. All of a sudden the answer was clear. Even though the April 9th Sri Lalita Sahasranama chanting was more than three weeks away, it felt right for me to respond to the prompt by declaring my commitment to attend.

As I thought about my decision, I imagined God laughing. I fancied that I had been a pawn in a game of chess and had been outmaneuvered by a force much bigger than myself. What could I do but join the laughter, and appreciate the synchronicity of all that had occurred.

Barring something happening that is out of my control, I know where I will be at 3 p.m. on April 9!

Written for Challenge for Growth Prompt #11: Overcoming Resistance

Naiva Klishta Na Cha Kathina नैव क्लिष्टा न च कठिना

Each week, the Sanskrit class I attend opens with us singing “Naiva Klishta Na Cha Kadhina.” I love the song and it frequently plays in my head during the day and during the night.

Last week I found it on YouTube.

I asked my teacher what the words meant and he suggested that members of the class translate it. One of the other students and I are going to do that. As you can see below, there are lots of verses.

I finished my attempt at translating the first verse. It appears to be a list of some of the qualities of Sanskrit.

Sanskrit is:

lovely, easy to understand, universally agreeable to the mind.

elegant, beloved, to be enjoyed

sweet speech

not obscure and not difficult

I look forward to working on the other verses. And I am also looking forward to seeing what my classmate comes up with!

Weekly Photo Challenge: One Love

I have many loves but the one that I am most immersed in at the moment is my study of Sanskrit. Almost every night, I am dreaming of Sanskrit. In my sleep I’m formulating sentences, reviewing vocabulary, hearing the song we sing in class. I’m learning words faster now and I believe some of that is due to whatever is happening during the night.

Here is a photo from the Samskrita Bharati camp I attended for three days last summer. I’m quite easy to spot!

Samskrita Bharati

Written for Weekly Photo Challenge: One Love

Challenge for Growth Prompt #6: I Listen Attentively

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I Listen

This week’s challenge is:

“Today I listen attentively.”

Sometimes when we are listening to another person, we may find our minds wandering to problems at work or home, or to future plans. At other times, rather than paying close attention to the person’s words, we may start thinking about how we are going to respond to them. Or we may reflect on advice we want to give them when they stop talking. If the person is angry, instead of listening to them, we may start planning our defense. These communication patterns often leave people feeling unheard, discounted and/or disrespected.

This week, for one, two, three days or longer, practice giving people your full attention when they are talking to you. Sometime during the week, write a post about some aspect of this topic or about experiences you have when you listen attentively. Feel free to use whatever form you desire: i.e., prose, story, poem, photograph, etc. (If you don’t have a blog, please share your thoughts and experiences in the comment section below.)

I look forward to seeing where this challenge takes you.

The article that you link to this prompt should be a new post written specifically for this challenge.

General Prompt Information:

New prompts will be posted at 5 a.m. (PST) every Wednesday.

Since it is easier to make behavioral changes if we focus on them one day at a time, each of the weekly challenges will start with “Today, I focus on…….” It will be up to you to decide how long you want to focus on a particular challenge— one, two, three days or even longer. At some point during the week, publish a post that relates in some way to the subject of the week.

Link your post back to this prompt post. If the pingback doesn’t work, then leave the link to your post in the comment section below. Be sure to include “Challenge for Growth Prompts” as one of your tags.

Throughout the week, I will publish the links for the posts that were created as the result of this prompt. I will also post the links from those who participated the previous week. That way they will be seen by anyone who comes to this page.

This week’s contributors to I listen attentively:

I Hear You- Nik’s Place

Please Listen to Me- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Challenge for Growth Prompt #6- Home and Loving It

Challenge for growth prompts/ #6- Annette’s Place

How about you?

Last week’s contributors to I am Love:

I Am…- Nik’s Place

It Takes a Revolution- The Seeker’s Dungeon

I Am Love- Living, Learning and Letting Go

Love Has No Borders (haibun)- Tournesol dans un Jardin

I AM love (free verse)- Traces of the Soul

Stillness- Dancing to the Words

The Wonders of Nature

I spent last weekend at Loon Lake in British Columbia attending a regional retreat for members of Amma’s Pacific Northwest satsangs. Those retreats are a time for devotees to meet together in-between Amma’s visits for the purpose of doing spiritual practices, attending classes and building our sense of community. We were blessed to have one of Amma’s swamis, Br. Dayamrita Chaitanya spend part of the weekend with us.

On Sunday morning, I participated in a nature walk led by one of the weekend participants. Jayanand worked as a botanist and ecologist for the National Park Service for 18 years. He knows so much about the environment and I learned a lot.

I am always fascinated by fallen and decaying trees. There was a big fire in the forest near Loon Lake in 1868 and you can still see remnants of that fire.

Jayanand gave us this information about downed trees:

Downed trees play an important role in maintaining the health and regeneration of forests. Not only do they provide nutrient pools for other plants during stand regeneration, they often even serve as “nurse logs” which support the germination and growth of other trees by providing substrate, moisture and nutrients to the seedlings and young saplings. They also can act as carbon sinks by locking up carbon in the forest floor – instead of being released into the atmosphere by burning. Decaying wood provides habitat for a variety of plants and animals, adding to the diversity of life found in forested areas. Finally, downed woody material can also help prevent runoff and soil erosion.

Here are some photos from our walk:

(Click photo gallery to see enlarged photos in slide show format.)

Challenge for Growth Prompts: First Month’s Summary

The first Challenge for Growth Prompt was published on January 6, 2016. Since then there have been three more. I realize many of you may not have seen the posts that were written by those who participated, so have decided to publish a summary at the end of each month. I hope you enjoy reading them.

I give thanks to all of you who contributed to some or all of January’s challenges, whether it was by publishing a post, by reading the posts published by others or by reading and thinking about the challenge topics.

Know that everyone is still welcome to write posts for any of these challenges. If you decide to do that, I will add your contribution to the appropriate challenge page and to the monthly summary.

The next challenge will be posted at 5:00 a.m. (PST) tomorrow!

Why Do We Behave the Way We Do?

In the mid 80’s, I met Pam Levin, a therapist who was to become one of my mentors. One of the tools I learned from her is called the Think Structure. I have used it in my personal life and with the clients in my therapy practice. I have found it to be a helpful way for myself and others to gain insight into why we behave the way we do. Continue reading “Why Do We Behave the Way We Do?” →

Living with Purpose

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In the early to mid-90’s, I created a personal mission statement based on a process I learned in Stephen Covey’s book First Things First. When I finished the mission statement, I hung it on a wall in my house. I glance at it from time to time, and when I do I always feel amazed. That document is as true today as it was on the day I wrote it. There is no doubt in my mind that these have been the guiding principles of my life and are evidence that I have walked this life with intention. Continue reading “Living with Purpose” →