A Life of Service

Hands

May My Hands Be In Service

 

I met Amma, a spiritual leader from Southwest India, in 1989 when she was leading programs in Seattle, Washington.  A friend had invited me to go with her.  I had no interest in attending, but when I was asked “Yes” came out of my mouth.  As the music started that night, I burst into tears.  Even though I had no previous experience with Indian music or Eastern spirituality, I had a strong sense of being “Home.”  I cried for hours.  Later in the night, I received my first hug from Amma, who is known as the Hugging Saint.  Her hug felt good, but I was much more interested in the music!

I was intrigued enough by my experience to go to the programs the next day and to the last day of a retreat she was leading on Orcas Island.  Afterwards, I was invited to be part of a group who was seeing Amma off at the Orcas Island airport.  As  she prepared to board the plane, I started crying as if my heart was going to break. I found my behavior extremely bizarre since I barely knew her and I saw no reason for my intense emotion.  Six weeks later, I was at Amma’s programs in New Hampshire and six months after that I was with her in India.

Over the next few years, I continued to experience huge separation grief whenever I was leaving Amma, even if I was going to be seeing her again days later.  My grief was particularly intense whenever I left Amma’s Indian ashram.  At times, I wondered if I was going crazy.  As I struggled to find some explanation, I remembered that Amma had said that those of us who are attracted to her have been with her in previous lives.

I knew Amma generally didn’t answer questions about past-life experiences, but I decided to present her with my theory at the next opportunity. When that time came, I told her I believed I had lived with her in an ashram before and that I grieved to return to that familiar “home.” I added that I thought my “job” in this lifetime was to be in service in the world and to learn to feel connected to her when I was not with her. It seemed to me that it was fine for me to come to the ashram every year, but that I should not live there.

When my comments were translated, Amma responded, “I recognize you.” I looked at the swami (monk) who was translating, puzzled. “She is telling you, you are right,” he said. My eyes filled with tears. She had said she knew me! I experienced the joy of being known and the relief of having my reasoning validated. I was not crazy. There was a logical, albeit unusual, explanation for my overwhelming grief.

My life had been focused on service before I met Amma, and it has continued to be.  I have visited Amma’s Indian ashram almost every year since 1989.  I feel connected to Amma when I am with her and when I am not.  I also feel connected to the ashram when I am there and when I am not.  I am so grateful for all I have learned and experienced in this lifetime.

 

a life of service

dedicated to

Amma

my family

my friends and clients

becoming a better person

leaving the world a better place

hard work? …… maybe

what could be more fulfilling

 

Amma’s 2015 North American Summer Tour schedule can be found at http://amma.org/news/ammas-north-american-summer-tour-2015

dungeon-prompts1 This post was written for Dungeon Prompts:  Hard Work:  What Does it Mean to You?

Amma, Embodiment of Compassion

Amma, Embodiment of Compassion

For the tiny infant to the eldest elder, she is there.
For the faint of heart and the bravest of the brave, she is there.
For the rich and the poor, for the saint and the sinner, she is there.
For those who are happy and those in despair, she is there.

When I’m sad and lonely, when I’m in danger, she is there.
When my children, friends and family need help, she is there.
When I need momentum to learn and grow, she is there.
When I want a hug because I’m feeling low, she is there.

Amma, embodiment of compassion and love renowned.
I thank you with an appreciation that has no bounds.

*****

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Note:  Most of the pictures come from Amma’s Facebook Page

Written for Writing 201: Hero(ine)  The assignment was to create a ballad using anaphora or epistrophe.  “Anaphora simply means the repetition of the same word (or cluster of words) at the beginning of multiple lines of verse in the same poem. Epistrophe is its counterpart: the repeated words appear at the end of lines.”

Adventures in Amritapuri, India 2014-2015 : Index

 

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Each year, I spend six weeks in Amma’s ashram in South Kerala, India.  Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi), who is sometimes referred to as The Hugging Saint since she has hugged 33 million people worldwide, is also known for her extensive networks of humanitarian projects called Embracing the World.

My last trip to Amritapuri was from November 30, 2014 to January 9, 2015.  For the first time, I shared my experiences there through this blog. Afterwards, numerous people told me that the posts made them feel like they were taking the journey with me.

I decided to create this index of posts in case anyone else wants to accompany me vicariously on that journey.  Enjoy!

 

My Journey Back to Seattle (Jan 2015)

Photo Credit: Wikimedia

My taxi was scheduled to leave Amritapuri at 5 a.m. on January 9th. Around 9 p.m. on the 8th I was informed that it had been moved to 4:30 a.m.  There would be no time for being idle that morning!

In the past, my itinerary has been to take a 11 p.m. taxi to Trivandrum for a 4:30 a.m. flight to Dubai. That flight is 4 ½ hours. The Dubai layover is two hours and then the flight to Seattle is another 14 ½ hours. Traveling that way means I miss a night’s sleep before I even leave India, and another night’s sleep on the flights (I do not sleep much on airplanes.) As I get older, I have had increasing trouble with jet lag. India is 13 1/2 hours ahead of Seattle so their day is our night and vice versa. The last few years it has been weeks before I adjusted.

I decided to significantly change my itinerary this year. With the new plan, I would leave the ashram at 4:30 a.m. after getting a reasonable amount of sleep. The flight left Trivandrum at 10 in the morning. Once in Dubai, I had a 21 hour layover. Even though it was expensive I had reserved a room at the airport hotel so spent the time resting or sleeping. I hoped it would make my adjustment to Seattle easier, and even if it didn’t it felt a lot better to get significant amount of rest before the long flight. The flight to Seattle was scheduled for 9 a.m. so I missed no night’s sleep before taking the final leg of my journey.

 

Dubai airport

Photo Credit:  Wikimedia

The bottom floor of the Dubai airport consists of miles of duty free shops. It is loud and has very bright light. The second floor seems to be primarily a business travelers facilities although I only looked down into it so don’t know for sure.  The hotel was on the third floor and was absolutely silent. What a respite from the over-stimulation below!

I had an experience there that will probably amuse some of you and make others shake your head wondering what is wrong with me.

When I entered my hotel room, I found this in the bathroom!

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What in the world was that in on the left? I had never seen anything like it. Was it some kind of men’s urinal? It was a mystery to me. I kept looking at it and soon realized it had no flush so it couldn’t be a urinal. Still later, I realized it had a spout and handle that released cold and hot water, as well as a stopper and drain like a sink. A sink like that in the bathroom? I didn’t get it.

I took this picture and sent it to some other Americans and they didn’t know what it was either. I had fantasies of what people who didn’t know what it was for would do with it, and some of those fantasies were pretty gross.

Later in the day I decided to write a friend who is a world traveler. She immediately responded that it was a bidet. A bidet? I knew what that was and have even used them. But they have always been hoses and/or spray. There was no hose and no spray. It was just like a sink.  Sitting in something like that after using the toilet still seemed really gross so I didn’t go near it!

When I returned to Seattle, I searched on the internet until I found a Wikipedia article about bidets.  The picture on the article was this same type of bidet.

Bidets can be found in some countries in the Americas, especially in South America, and are a standard feature of homes in Argentina, Paraguay, and Uruguay. They are common in Arabic countries[citation needed] in the Middle East, such as Iraq, Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, Qatar, the UAE, and in the Maghreb, especially Egypt and Morocco. Much of East Asia, particularly Japan, Bangladesh, Thailand, Vietnam, and South Korea, use bidets as well.

I also learned that you use toilet paper before you sit in this kind of bidet. I am still left with the question “Why?” but at least it all makes sense, and was a pretty funny experience. What can I say, I’m an American!

I had other interesting experiences during my layover. There was an information station that had a cut out of a man. When he answered questions, his mouth moved. It looked like it was a real man who was actually talking. And stranger yet, when you walked by it looked like his head and eyes follow you as he talked. How did they do that? Was it some kind of hologram? I never really investigated it but I watched it every time I passed by.

After twenty-five years of going to India I am used to being in large groups of women wearing colorful saris and men wearing dhotis. There is a large Muslim population in the part of Seattle where I live so I am also used to seeing women dressed in long black robes (abaya) and/or the Muslim headscarves (hijab). There are even many Muslim women in Seattle who wear the burqa, a cloak that reveals only the women’s eyes.

It, of course, was no surprise to me that there were many more people in this kind of attire at the Dubai airport. Some of the women’s burqa had slits that were smaller than I was used to seeing, but there were considerable numbers of women who wore less restrictive clothing as well. Many of the men wore full length white robes (thobe) and a headress (keffiyeh).

At one point, I saw what I believed to be a Muslim mother and her teenaged daughter. The mother was in the black abaya although I don’t think she wore a headscarf. The teenager was wearing the kind of western blue jeans that contain more holes than cloth.  I sure would love to know their story!

As some of you will remember, on the way to India I had been given an upgrade to business class. What a boon that turned out to be. I had hoped some miracle would happen and I would be give that opportunity again but it was not to be. The plane left at 9:30 a.m. and arrived in Seattle 14 hours later. Staying the night in Dubai made it easier, but it was still an exhausting trip.

 

Malidoma

Many years ago I read a book titled Of Water and the Spirit by an African shaman named Malidoma. He lived in the United States but returned to Africa each year “to learn from his elders and detox from Western civilization.” I resonated with that statement and have never forgotten it.

I have the same feeling when I am in India. Sweating from the heat even feels like detoxification. Sometimes it seems like all of my cells are being cleaned out and restructured…. or maybe a better word would be renewed. I rest at a level in India that happens nowhere else. I sense even my soul is at rest. One morning on this trip I awoke to find my earplugs in my hands and my covers off. I realized I had fallen asleep before I even covered myself (normally I have a sheet, a light blanket and a shawl over me since I use a fan at night.)

When I return to Seattle I find I have more respect and appreciation for my life in the U.S. as well as increased respect and appreciation for my life in India. I am better able to be content anywhere. While Amma’s body is not in the U.S. except when she comes here for the North American tours, I feel her presence no matter where I am.

 

Seahawks

20141006_152223Those of you who have followed my blog for awhile or who know me from Seattle, know that a very strange thing happened to me last year. When Seattle went crazy for our Seahawks football team I went crazy along with everyone else! I have never had the slightest interest in football, but something inside of me changed. I know in part it is because of the incredible sense of community that has developed in the city because of this team. (Opportunity for Community May Come When You Least Expect It) 

When I read about their coach’s values and the way he treats his players and expects them to treat each other, I received another level of understanding about why I felt drawn to them. He even had them meditating and doing yoga! Last year after they won the SuperBowl there was a victory parade. 700,000 people stood for hours in 20 degree weather to participate. I was one of them!

While I was in India I still followed the games. It seemed no accident that the first playoff game started only a few hours after I returned to Seattle. Knowing I would be able to watch the playoffs made it easier for me to leave India and come back to my Seattle home!  I still shake my head incredulously when I hear myself talking this way about football.  You never know where life’s journey will take you!

As I end this year’s trip to Amritapuri:

I know I will miss:

  • Being with Sreejit, Chaitanya and Akshay
  • Being with Amma
  • Being with my other Amritapuri friends
  • Evening bhajans
  • Living in community
  • The warm weather (but not the hot)
  • The simplicity of living in one room with minimal belongings
  • The beautiful views of nature
  • The deep sense of rest and deep sleep
  • The accelerated level of synchronicities, blissful moments and lessons

 

In Seattle I am looking forward to:

  • Being and working with the colleagues and clients in my therapy community
  • Being with my friends in the Pacific Northwest Amma community
  • Leading bhajans at satsang
  • The potentially mild winter (it is 50 F this week!)
  • Watching the Seahawks play and being part of that Seattle community
  • Being in my comfortable house
  • Warm showers
  • Watching my worms
  • Sleeping in my bed
  • Working in my garden
  • Getting beyond the jet lag and being able to sleep
  • Blogging!

 

With this post, my report of this year’s journey to Amritapuri is complete. I appreciate those of you who have been interested enough to take part or all of the journey with me. I feel abundantly blessed

 

Living and Learning in Amritapuri- Dec 27, 2014 to Jan 4, 2015

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New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Eve is always an evening of festivities.  It was different than normal this year in that the day fell on a public darshan  day. The crowds were big so even though she was moving fast, Amma didn’t finishing giving hugs until just before midnight. That meant the evening entertainment program started around midnight. There was a play that was mostly in Malayalam and some other entertainers as well. Then Amma gave a New Year’s talk and led several high energy songs.

I want to give particular emphasis to her New Year’s message. She talked about how to deal with all of the suffering we are witnessing in the world and also identified five things to keep in mind if we want to live meaningful lives. I have no doubt I will be reading this talk multiple times after I get home. To read the speech go to.

It was a tough evening for me because I was so tired, and my back problems make it hard for me to sit for long periods of time. I knew I couldn’t sit in a regular chair for so long, so I decided to sit on the side portion of the auditorium.  Many of the brahmacharinis (female monks) were sitting on top of tables there.  I sat behind them so I could get up as frequently as I needed to. I moved several times over the next hour trying to get a better view. Continue reading “Living and Learning in Amritapuri- Dec 27, 2014 to Jan 4, 2015”

Recycling: A Model for the World

:Recycling station

There have been recycling efforts of one kind or another at Amma’s Amritapuri ashram since 1999.  Over the years, the program has enlarged and become more refined. The Recycling Center moved to its current location in 2012 and is a model for all of India and the world. Continue reading “Recycling: A Model for the World”

Weekly Photo Challenge: Warmth

Warmth for me is being in Amma’s arms, any place, any time, for as long as possible!  I feel especially warm inside if I am being held when she is laughing.

Amma's hug
Amma’s hug

 

 

Submitted for Weekly Photo Challenge: Warmth

Instructions: Whether you live on my side of the planet or in the Southern Hemisphere, enjoying real heat on the beach or in your yard, show us your take on warmth. You can go from the literal (saunas! scarves! steaming cups of tea!) to the figurative (the embrace of family members coming together for the holidays, the look of affection on your pet’s face, or even just a photo with a particularly warm color palette, no matter its subject matter).

Clarification:  I am Graced to have this photo but it is not one I personally took.  I happened to be in Amma’s arms when she was watching a play during her Boston programs many years ago.

 

 

Only For This I Pray

Amma

As I planned my reminiscing post, I remembered a song that I created in the late 90’s.  I wrote the words first and then asked my friend Meera to translate them into Malayalam, Amma’s language.  Once I had the words, I worked on the tune.  I sung it for Amma both in English and Malayalam.  (FYI, Amma means Mother.)

This is the song.  Please pardon any pronuncation errors!

 

amma ende karangal ennum ninne sevikkatte
amma ende manass˘ mantrathāl nirayename
amma ende vākkukal ennum ninne pukazhthette
ende hridayam ānandam kond˘ nrittamādatte

ende sneham prakāshamāyi ennenum thilangatte
amma ende vishvāsam valarnnu kondirikkatte
ennenum ammayepole āyi varename
amma itinnu vendi mātram nyan prārthikkyunnu

Mother, may my hands be in service, my mind fill with mantra
May my voice forever sing your praise, my heart dance with joy
May my love shine ever brighter, my faith ever grow
Mother, may each day I become more like you, only for this I pray
Only for this I pray

 

Reminiscing- 1990 to 2014

I have come to Amma’s ashram in Amritapuri, India almost every year since January 1990.  While to me it often feels like nothing has changed during that time, it is also obvious that so much is different.

When I first met Amma she was 35 years old.  Now she is 61.

I arrived soon after the main part of the temple had been finished;  the top floors were not complete.  I remember participating in brick and gravel seva.  We would form human chains and pass the bricks to the top floors, one at a time.  We would also carry bags of gravel where ever they needed to go.  I remember thinking that part of me would remain in Amritapuri when I left India because of all the bricks I had touched.  This is a picture of the temple as it looks today. Continue reading “Reminiscing- 1990 to 2014”

Living and Learning in Amritapuri- Dec 24, 2014

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Play

I have been spending most of my time on play related activities. As most of you know, I worked on sewing the costumes for a while and then switched to backdrops. I did not attend many play practices early on because there were so many different groups rehearsing throughout the day. I eventually asked Chaitanya which would be the best ones for me to attend. I went often enough to know that it was a powerful play, one that brought up so many emotions in me, mostly tears of one sort or another but also plenty of laughter.  During one practice, I was crying and looked to the right and left of me and saw that all of the people nearby were crying as well.  This play hits deep.  (For those of you who don’t know, it is about the life of St. Francis of Assisi.) Continue reading “Living and Learning in Amritapuri- Dec 24, 2014”