Would You Be Interested?

I’m considering offering a weekly Challenges for Growth Prompt.

If there is interest, I would post a focus weekly.  For example:

  1. This week I focus on meeting my needs instead of my wants.
  2. This week I focus on finishing things I haven’t finished
  3. This week I focus on walking my talk.
  4. This week I focus on making time to play
  5. This week I do not gossip
  6. This week I remember that “trials and tribulations” help me grow.

People could participate in different ways.

  • Everyone can consider it a challenge for the week and make it as much a focus as they want to.
  • Some bloggers could write a post about their experiences during the week.
  • Other bloggers may choose instead to write a post about the topic rather than make it a week-long focus.
  • Bloggers and non-bloggers would be welcome to write about their experience in the comments section of my post.

Would you be interested in participating in this type of prompt?

If so, which of the areas I have listed would you suggest I start with?  Other suggestions are welcome!

 

And So It Begins…….

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My spiritual teacher, Mata Amritanandamayi, who is more commonly referred to as Amma, visits cities across North America each summer and then returns to offer programs in San Ramon, California and Michigan each November. I have not attended her November programs for several years since they are so close to the time when I take my yearly sojourn to her ashram in India. In fact, I often depart for India when Amma is still in Michigan.

It has been three or four years since I’ve been to the Michigan programs and I haven’t been to either the summer or the fall programs in San Ramon for six to eight years. I was surprised a month ago when I felt the strong desire to participate in the first two days of the November meetings in San Ramon. The desire stayed with me, so I booked my plane ticket and reserved a hotel room.

I had several goals:

  • Spend time with Amma and receive her darshan (hug).
  • See the changes that have taken place in her San Ramon ashram
  • Walk the land
  • Visit with the many friends I have in Amma’s community
  • Be open to any learning opportunities that emerged

Time with Amma is always filled with so many experiences and it often seems like time is suspended.  So even though I would only be there for two days, it would no doubt feel like a week.  Whenever I am in Amma’s presence, life lessons seem to speed up and so many synchronicities occur.  I looked forward to discovering what would happen on this trip.

I am writing this post after having returned from the San Ramon programs.  I could write several chapters of a book about my experiences, but have decided to tell you my adventures in walking the land!

In the years since I was last in San Ramon, my life has taken a turn. I have become much more focused on Mother Nature. My eyes have opened and I now see things I never saw before, or at least I see them in a different way.

I knew that Amma had asked the San Ramon devotees to plant orchards on the property, so seeing those was definitely a priority. When I got out of the car on my first day, I looked across the parking lot and saw that there was a big orchard in the distance, nestled in the hills.

I arrived at the ashram several hours before Amma would come to the program hall so I decided to visit that orchard first. I asked a friend how to get their and he gave me a vague idea of how to find the path.

I followed those directions and found a path of sorts. As I made my way through the forest, there were times when fallen trees blocked my path. I crawled over or under them and continued on.  (Note: If you click on any of the picture galleries, the photos will be enlarged.)

Taking this kind of walk reminded me of playing in the woods near my home when I lived on an army base in Germany as a child. Those were some of the happiest times of my childhood.

As I made my way towards an orchard I couldn’t see, I kept the vision of my first glimpse of the fruit trees in front of me. As I walked, I could see small portions of parked cars through the trees from time to time. I realized I was near some of the new parking lots, so felt assured I was going the right direction.

When I came out of the wooded area, I discovered there was a road going from the parking lot to the orchards. If I had known about it I would have reached my destination much faster, but I would have missed the journey and so much beauty.

Soon I arrived at the orchard. It covers quite a large area and was impossible to photograph in its entirety. It is late fall now so the trees look very different than they would have looked in spring and summer, but they were still a welcome sight to see.

Later that day, I explored the orchard that is between the main ashram house and the temple. There have been fruit trees in that location for many years, but now that area is totally devoted to the orchard and some solar panels.

My second, and biggest, “Walk the Land” adventure happened the following day. Around 11:00 a.m., I decided I wanted to walk from the main house to the house where Amma stays. I have taken that journey many times in the past, but not for years. It is some distance away so I thought it would take about forty-five minutes to get there and back.

It had rained during the night so there were areas of the path that were a bit muddy but it was still easy to walk on. There are many different types of terrain on that route and it was so beautiful. At one point, I saw another woman standing near a gully in front of me. I stopped and talked with her for a while and then continued on my way.

At one point, I decided the house was further than I wanted to go on that day. I decided I would only walk until I was at the point where I could see the house.

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Once there, I turned around and headed back to the main ashram.

All was well until I reached the place where I had met the woman. At that point, I could no longer see a path. I had been distracted by talking with her and had not focused on any landmarks.

I found what could have been the path and took it, but it soon ended. I tried one “path” after another but they went nowhere. I was finding myself in areas where the land was wetter and I started slipping in the mud. I slid whether I was going up or going down.

It occurred to me that I hadn’t told anyone I was taking this walk, and that was a mistake. I had my cell phone so I could make a call, if there was phone reception, but otherwise no one would have any idea where I was. Anyone looking for me would just assume I had returned to my hotel.

What to do? Take one step at a time and keep moving forward. Try one route and then another. Deal with whatever comes up.

My shoes were caked with mud, making me slip even more.  I decided to let go of any concern that my clothes stayed clean. When I needed to, I scooted downhill on my bottom or crawled where I wanted to go on my hands and knees.

I remembered my years of going to Christ in the Desert monastery in Abiquiu, New Mexico. That monastery was 13 miles from the main highway and in those days the road to it was made of dirt. One side of the road was against a hill and on the other side there was a steep drop off. When it rained, the road became very slippery. One time I visited, the mud was so deep that it totally filled the tread of the tires. We swerved on that slippery surface as if we were driving on bald tires.

I realized that same thing had happened to my shoes. While the shoes didn’t have tread and were mostly smooth even when dry, they did have some small ridges. Remembering my experience with the tires, I sat down on the wet leaves, took off my shoes, pounded them against the earth and then used a twig to scrape off the thick mud. I was able to walk a little better after doing that.

After many more dead ends, I found myself face to face with a hill that went straight up. I probably remember it as being much higher than it actually was, but it was high enough that I had no idea what was on the other side. It seemed fruitless for me to continue walking on the lower ground, so I contemplated going up the hill. How would I do that though? The side of the hill was primarily made of wet clay, with some sporadic clumps of grass.  I just slipped down it when I tried to climb.

I then recalled hearing that mountain climbers get up mountains by making holes where they can place their hands and feet and use those holes to boost themselves up the mountain one step at a time. I found that the clay was malleable so I started creating holes for my hands and feet. I did not look up and I did not look down.  I focused only on making the holes and taking one step after the other. In that way, I moved up the steep hill.

I had no idea where I was, so didn’t know what I would find when I made it to the top. Once there, I was relieved to discover I was still on the ashram grounds.  I was quite a distance from where I started, but I knew how to get back to the beginning of the path and did so.

Many years ago, my daughter had a challenging experience. After it was over, I asked if she had been afraid. She said, “No, I felt like Indiana Jones!” During this adventure, a part of me also felt like Indiana Jones, and I loved the sensation.  It was as if I had been tested, and emerged victorious!

I recognized that throughout the challenge I had stayed true to so many of the attitudes I do my best to live by.

  • Focus on the moment, not the future
  • Live in awareness.
  • Take one step at a time.
  • Have faith.
  • Trust that my life is unfolding as it should.
  • Realize that the lessons I have learned in the past have prepared me for challenges I face in the present.
  • Believe that I can deal with whatever happens

As I said at the beginning of this post, there were many other special moments during my two days with Amma but these are the one I have chosen to share. I will be leaving for Amma’s India ashram soon, and know that my days there will be filled with lessons.  My time in San Ramon seems like the beginning of my next India adventure, thus my title for this post, “And so it begins……”

 

(Note: This post was not written with the Weekly Photo Challenge: Victory in mind, but it certainly fits the criteria so I will use it for that purpose as well!)

 

Becoming Me in 111 Words

 

Me!

Army brat in a critical household

My heart full of anger

Alone and lonely

Why bother?

 

Headband

Conservative college student, trapped again

Rebel by school’s end

Discovering new worlds

Finding life!

 

Migrant worker- me!

Migrant farm laborer

From Florida to Washington State

Seeing racism up close

Ready to make a difference.

 

scan0012

Married Al and had two beautiful babies

– was unprepared and overwhelmed,

divorce and chronic fatigue left me

feeling empty, alone, beaten down.

 

Me, Pam, Elaine2

Enter Jean, Elaine and Pam

Learned to parent myself and my children

Mentors’ teachings will last forever

I am whole.

 

What Love Means to Me www.amma.org www.embracingtheworld.org

Enter Amma

In her music I find Joy

In her arms I find Home

In her mission I find Purpose.

 

Written for Dungeon Prompts: Becoming You in 111 Words

 

Live to Work or Work to Live?

Chai as Baby
“If you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.”

While there are days when I am tired or discouraged that I may think that I work in order to be able to buy the things I need to live, I know that isn’t really true.  I have no doubt that I live to work.  I  have been a psychotherapist since 1987.  My primary modality is group therapy based on a developmental model that includes the concept of “inner children.”  I believe that one of the most important elements in healing is for clients to learn how to parent those vulnerable “children” inside of themselves.

Most people start therapy because they are depressed and/or anxious.  They may have learned to cover their pain with addictive behaviors such over-working, over-thinking, eating disorders or substance abuse.  They frequently have trouble in relationships and often feel alone and lonely.  Past traumas may cause them to experience flashbacks.  They often have poor self esteem and think they are unworthy and will never be good enough.  They may be very critical of themselves and others.

Continue reading “Live to Work or Work to Live?”

“I will be responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.”

Accountability
Photo Credit: Fritz Reitz

When a friend showed me a picture of this rock, I thought of a one of the self care contracts* that I use in my personal life and with my psychotherapy clients.  That contract is “I am responsible and accountable for my thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes.”

It is not uncommon to hear people in our society make comments such as, “You hurt my feelings.” and “You made me do that.”  You…..you….you….you.  When we get into the “you’s” we are more than likely not being responsible and accountable for our own feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.  Using that way of speaking increases the chances we will immerse ourselves in victim thinking and as a result experience a sense of powerlessness.

I’m not saying that people who are nasty and viscous in their words and actions should not be responsible for what they say and do.  Continue reading ““I will be responsible and accountable for my feelings, thoughts, actions and attitudes.””

Reflection on Desire

sammamish trail
Photo Credit: Eric Ewing

As I have walked my psychological and spiritual life journeys, I have been taught much about desire. This week I have been reflecting on what I have learned.

From Amma I learned:

Peace of mind comes when the mind is free of desire. Amma uses the example of chocolate in teaching that concept. If I have been desiring chocolate, the moment the chocolate touches my tongue I may have the experience of bliss. If the bliss came from the chocolate then I could eat more and more chocolate and I would experience more and more bliss. Instead, if I continue eating chocolate, I will make myself sick. The bliss comes because my mind becomes silent the instant the chocolate touches my tongue. Moments later, another desire emerges and my mind gets caught up in wanting again.

My desires are most likely to be realized if I let go of them. If I hold on and try to force the issue they are less likely to materialize. It is also important for me to “Put in the effort and let go of the results.” If I have done the best I can in a given situation and let go of the results, I am more likely to have peace of mind. Staying attached to them is one way I make myself miserable.

From Church of God in Christ ministers I learned:

When the praises go up, the blessings come down!

God isn’t deaf. There is no need to ask for the same thing over and over. If I don’t receive that for which I ask, the answer may be “No.”

Worry is an insult to God.

Ask for what I want and then start praising and thanking God as if the desire has already manifested Continue reading “Reflection on Desire”

Chinese Proverb: Birds of Sorrow

Vasnetsov_Sirin_Alkonost
Photo Credit: Wikimedia

 

You cannot prevent the birds of sorrow from flying over your head,
but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair.

 

 

 

 

Attitude is the Key

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rebuilt wall

Last fall, I started working on a new project.  I live on the side of Beacon Hill in Seattle and my front yard slopes down, both south to north and west to east.  That means that rain water always flows towards the house.  I decided that it would be better to level off the land and in so doing create garden beds where I could plant flowers and vegetables.

To that, I brought home load after load of bricks, and with my level and shovel in hand, I began to build walls. The bricks are loose, but I staggered them in a way that they stayed standing.  When all of the walls are finished, I will have four large garden beds.

During the winter, I noticed some of the bricks were shifting and the walls had begun to sag.  I assumed it was because the dirt underneath was settling.  Also bricks have been bumped, children have moved them, people have even sat or stood on them! The structures still functioned well as garden beds but didn’t look as nice as they did originally.

Two weeks ago, I started to work on the project again.  I continued building new walls but also rebuilt some of the old ones.  (Since the bricks are loose I can do that as often as I need to.)  Before long, I discovered that settling land and human actions were not the only reason for the sagging walls.

800px-ScalopusAquaticus
Photo Credit: Wikimedia

Moles had been burrowing under the brick walls and the area was full of their tunnels!  That, of course, had caused the walls to become uneven.  I knew I wasn’t going to kill the moles, so what would I do? Continue reading “Attitude is the Key”

Make-Believe Problems

Today, I saw a cartoon on Counseling TidBits that I loved.  I asked Jane A Weiss, LCSW for permission to post it on my blog and she said “Yes.”  Thank you Jane!

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

 

99problems-ctb

Reflections on Fear

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Over the years I have learned many sayings and acronyms relating to fear. I have found them to be useful tools in my own life journey and have also used them with clients in my psychotherapy practice.  Here are the ones that come to mind at the moment:

Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

Fear and excitement are two sides of the same coin.

We can see fear as:

      False Evidence Appearing Real

      Forget Everything And Run

or

     Feeling Excited And Ready

     Face Everything And Rise

 

Other important factors:

It is important to feel Fear when we are in danger. The emotion indicates that we need to take action. Fight or Flight might be necessary.

Most of our Fear however is Fear of the future. We often feel much more Fear of what might happen then we would feel if it did happen.

Fear may also mask another feeling. That usually happens because there were unacceptable and acceptable feelings in our families of origin. In my childhood home, feeling Fear was fine.  Feeling anger was not. Therefore, I learned to feel Fear at times when I was actually angry. Once I saw this pattern, I realized it was important that I ask myself if I was angry anytime I felt Fear.

There is so much I could say on this topic but instead I am going to end with the video that Sreejit used at the beginning of the Dungeon Prompt that inspired this post.  I find the video deeply moving.  It also demonstrates many of the aspects of fear I have addressed.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txPQC8NB_-M