Tag: Spiritual growth
Letting Go of Suffering: Week 3- What Would Your World Be Like If You Didn’t Suffer?
Walt Disney once said, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” Many years ago, Pam Levin taught me that the first step in manifesting your vision is to have one.
The exercises for this week are devoted to imagining what your life would be like if you didn’t ruminate about the past, worry about the future or do the unhealthy behaviors that you know make you miserable.
Exercise 1
Identifying Your Vision
Take a few deep breaths. Focus on “breathing in relaxation” and “breathing out tension.” Let your body settle into the chair you are sitting on, or the bed or floor on which you are lying. As you begin to relax, let yourself imagine what your life would be if you were no longer immersed in suffering.
Let the images come and your new world develop. When you are ready, bring yourself back into the present and then answer the questions in this exercise. If you need to, close your eyes and go back into your new world to get the answer to a question.
Exercise 2
To make your vision become a part of your life, spend 10-30 minutes a day for the next five days putting yourself into a meditative state (through breathing slowly and allowing yourself to relax) and then experiencing your new world. Feel what it feels like to live there. Experience whatever you experience. Let your new life develop in your mind’s eye. Jot down some notes in the spaces below.
As you identify other components you would like to have in your new world, add them to your vision. Periodically, throughout your life, refer to the two exercises in this lesson to see where you are in creating that vision. Each time, see if there are areas you want to add, or parts you want to let go of. Decide which part of your vision you want to work on next. Don’t feed suffering by expecting your life to change all at once. You will create you vision one day, or even one step, at a time.
See you next Monday for the fourth lesson.
To find the lessons in this series that have already been published click here.
Arriving in India: November 26, 2016
I love those moments when my plane lands in India and I first take in the fragrance of the country. When I mentioned that to a fellow traveler a few years ago, he told me I was smelling diesel. I have no idea what diesel smells like but I knew that was not the fragrance I was talking about. Part of it may be incense, and at times smoke from cooking fires, but I know the odor is much more than that. This country is steeped in spirituality and I believe the distinct fragrance is the result of that. I often have the urge to bow down and kiss the earth when I get off the plane. While I don’t do that physically, I have no doubt that some subtle part of me doing just that.
This is the first time I have taken a layover in Dubai on my way to India and it sure made a big difference. While I was tired when I arrived in India, I didn’t feel overwhelming exhaustion.
I knew I was going to have to deal with something that has never been an issue in the past. On November 8, with no notice, the Indian government discontinued the use of 500 and 1000 rupee bills. (As I understand it, they did that because of the amount of black market money that was in the system and also because the money was being used by terrorists.) Having those bills become useless overnight has caused chaos in the country and a huge problem for many of India’s residents. I had read that people had been standing in long lines attempting to turn in the old bills. Sometimes they with success, sometimes not. Also, the country’s ATMs ran out of money, or would only give tiny sums of money. Many Indians don’t have bank accounts and before long the rule was made that the bills could only be exchanged if you found someone willing to put them into their bank account for you.
A few days before I left for India, I heard that the bills had to be exchanged by November 24. That left those of us who weren’t already in India with potentially worthless bills. I was advised to go directly to the bank in the airport as soon as I passed through immigration, before I picked up my luggage. As I looked at people walking up to the bank counter and leaving empty handed, I knew it wasn’t going to work. I still asked if I could exchange the bills, but received the same answer.
It took a long time for the baggage to come, but I eventually left with two heavy suitcases, loaded mostly with treats and/or supplies for other people. I always feel like Santa Claus when I distribute the items I bring. I enjoy that part of the trip. I also enjoy having nearly empty suitcases once everything is passed out.
From baggage claim, I walked to the currency exchange. That process went well, but they would only give us the new 2000 rupee notes. Even in normal circumstances, India’s small shops ask for payment in small bills, because they usually don’t have enough cash to make change for 500 and 1000 bills. These 2000 rupee bills were bound to cause a problem. I heard other people asking the currency exchange to give them smaller bills with no luck, so I didn’t even bother to try.
Soon I was in a taxi on my way to Amritapuri. I still marvel that taking a taxi to the ashram costs less than $40 even though the drive is 2 ½ to 3 hours. Since I was arriving at a time when there would be a lot of traffic, I expected that it would take the full three hours, if not more. I knew it was going to be an intense three hours when the driver started driving 130 km/hour in a 40 km/hour zone the minute he left the airport. This is not unusual for India but it has been a long time since I have had a driver who drove so aggressively.
In India, traffic seems to have rules of its own. The roads are filled with bicycles, scooters, motorcycles, rickshaws, lorries, trucks, taxis, buses, private cars and an occasional elephant. Pedestrians seem to have no right of way, so they get along as best as they can. The vehicles weave in and out with a precision that is mind boggling. The drivers pass each other by going into oncoming traffic, swerving back into their own lane just before impact. I’ve always said they seem to have incredible skill and nerves of steel.
I remembered the first time I took my daughter to India. I think she was 16 at the time. She sat in the front seat of the taxi and didn’t seem to react to any of this. Afterwards, I told her I was surprised she didn’t have a reaction. She responded that she had kept her eyes closed the whole time; that it seemed like one big game of “Chicken.”
Coming back to my current trip, I was happy there was so much traffic since it caused the driver to slow down. Still, he had more close calls than any other time I’ve taken this drive. I felt very relieved when, three hours later, we turned into the ashram gate.
I was (and am) home!
To read the rest of the posts in this series click here.
On My Way to Amritapuri: November 24-26, 2016
Seattle to Dubai
I have been anticipating my 2016 trip to Amma’s ashram in Amritapuri, India for months. Every time I go there my life is filled with adventure, learning and renewal. Not only do I get to spend time with Amma, it is also the only period each year that Sreejit, Chaitanya and I are together. (My son, Sreejit, lived in Amma’s ashram in San Ramon, California from 1994 to 2009 and has lived in Amritapuri since then. Chaitanya moved to Amritapuri in 1998.)
On Thanksgiving morning at 5:30, a friend picked me up and took me to the airport. I checked in, got my boarding passes and went through the security line within 30 minutes. I appreciated the opportunity to begin this year’s journey in such a non-stressful way
Knowing I was going to be sitting in the plane for more than 15 hours, I decided to eat breakfast and then walk around the terminal until it was time to board. Within minutes, I saw a sign that made me do a double take. The words on the sign were: Pet Relief Area. I walked by it, but my curiosity got the better of me, so I turned around and walked back to the sign so I could see what a Pet Relief Area was. This is what I found:
I did not know that this type of service was available in airports; it seemed surreal. The first thought that went through my mind, as I shook my head in disbelief, was that this was one of those “Only in America” things. I also recalled a scene from a science fiction movie when a man traveled from the past to the future. He was shocked to see someone who was walking their dog stop to pick up the dog’s poop, put it in a bag and then take it with him. I don’t remember what year the time traveler came from, but if someone had told me back in the 60’s that in the future we would be picking up dog poop, I would have thought they were crazy. The other thought I had when I saw the Pet Relief Area sign was wondering if these relief areas had been available in the airport for some time and I had just been oblivious to them.
Later, when I looked for information about Pet Relief Area on the internet, I discovered that since 2009, the U.S. Department of Transportation has required airlines to make relief areas available for service animals. I also learned that in August 2016, a federal regulation was enacted that required any U.S. airport that served more than 10,000 passengers a year to provide a place for service animals to relieve themselves. Most airports also provide the service to law enforcement dogs, emotional support animals and airport therapy dogs. I found no evidence that these areas exist in other parts of the world.
My flight from Seattle to Dubai was rough for a variety of reasons. For the first hour or two, there was a lot of air turbulence. I don’t think I’ve ever been on a flight where the plane shook so much, except for the one I was on in the late 90’s where our plane had a decompression problem, probably due to a fire onboard. After the shaking started, that plane had descended 25,000 feet in about a minute’s time. Even though on this 2016 flight the shaking was due to air turbulence, it was still jolting enough to get me chanting my mantra!
The flight was also rough for me because my back pain had been re-stimulated by the process of getting ready for the trip. I walked as much as I could during the flight so that helped, but I was still uncomfortable. I looked forward to arriving in Dubai.
Dubai International Airport
There is a 13 ½ hour time difference between Seattle and India, and as I’ve aged, I have had increasing difficulty with jet lag. Sometimes it seems as if I spend most of my time in India adjusting to the time change. Just as I begin to feel normal, it is time to fly back to Seattle and once I’m there I have to start the whole adjustment process over again.
The last two years, I have stayed at the airport hotel in Dubai on my way home from India. It is expensive, but the chance to lie down and even sleep before the long leg of the trip has been well worth it. It even seemed to decrease the amount of jet lag I experienced after I returned to Seattle.
This year, I decided I would stay in the Dubai hotel for 15 hours on the way to India. I hoped by doing that, I would feel better when I arrived in India and as a result, jet lag would be less of a problem for me.
There is another reason I love to stay at that hotel. The Dubai airport has untold numbers of duty free shops. It is also full of jostling people and bright lights. When you walk out of the elevator that goes to the Dubai International Hotel, you enter a world of complete silence. I find the hotel’s atmosphere to be such a blessed relief from the hustle and bustle that occurs in the rest of the airport.
I practically fell into bed and then slept for five hours. When I got up, I went to the Emirates travel desk to pick up my food voucher. I knew from past experiences that Emirates wouldn’t pay for the hotel but they would pay for meals. This time, however, when I asked for the voucher, I was told that they no longer provided that service. I had never bought anything other than a scoop of ice cream in Dubai. After looking around, I decided I would order some sushi at a food court restaurant that was located next to McDonalds. I was quite surprised to discover, when I checked the exchange rate later, that I had spent $23 for sushi!
After my second nap, I was a bit groggy. I decided to go into the main part of the airport to find out my gate number. When I stepped onto a walking escalator, and started walking, it seemed as if I wasn’t going anywhere. I laughed, a few seconds later, when I realized the escalator was going the opposite direction. Therefore, when I walked on it, it seemed like I was standing still. Dubai must be like India, where the cars drive on the left side of the road. As I thought about it, I remembered noticing that foot traffic in the airport was on the left too. I’ve never made that mistake before, but, like I said, I was groggy.
Dubai to Trivandrum
My flight to India was scheduled to leave at 2:55 a.m. The boarding process went smoothly. Once I was on the airplane, though, I received an unpleasant surprise. My “J” seat turned out to be a middle seat. I need to get up, to walk or use the restroom, frequently, so it is very important to me to have an aisle seat. Since I purchased my plane tickets in March of this year, almost every seat on the plane was available. I had taken care to reserve my all-important aisle seat. When I picked up my boarding passes in Seattle, I double checked with the agent that I had aisle seats on both flights. She reassured me that I did. To say I was displeased with this turn-of-events would be an understatement. Reminding myself that the flight would only be four hours long helped a little.
I grumbled to myself for a while and then noticed the aisle seat in front of me was open. I asked the person in the middle seat if I could sit there. She said, the aisle seat was her seat; she had moved to the middle so she could sit next to her friend. She was unwilling to let me have the aisle seat. Sometime after resuming my inner grumbling, I looked behind me and saw an empty aisle seat. The door to the plane was shut by then but the flight was delayed, so I switched to that seat. I was jubilant. I was so glad that I had been proactive in seeking to make a change rather than getting stuck in feeling victimized.
When we had boarded the plane, I had noticed that the business section of the plane was bigger than any I have ever seen. I was even more surprised to see that there were only two passengers sitting in that area. Later, I discovered that the plane was at least a third empty. In my experience, the planes are always packed at this time of year. I don’t understand why there were so many empty seats, but I felt very graced. Not only did I get the aisle seat I wanted, but the seat next to me was empty for the entire flight.
To read the rest of the posts in this series click here.
Letting Go of Suffering: Week 2- The Beginning Continued
Exercise 1:
An important step in letting go of suffering is identifying the many ways we contribute to our suffering. I make myself suffer when I eat too much chocolate, when I agree to do things I don’t want to do, and when I over-think or over-do. What are the unhealthy behaviors you do that bring suffering into your life?
Exercise 2
In the psychotherapy model I use, therapists differentiate between core feelings and racket feelings. Child words, i.e. mad, sad, scared and glad, are used to designate the core feelings. Rackets are substitute emotions that are used to cover (hide) the core-level feelings. Racket feelings are much more likely to lead to suffering than experiencing and addressing the core feelings.
In our families of origin, some emotions might have been more acceptable than others. In my family it was okay to feel scared but not mad, so I learned to cover my mad with scare. The pattern became so pervasive in my life that there was a period of time when I needed to assume that I was mad whenever I felt scared. When I examined my scare, I usually discovered there was no danger present and that I was actually mad. So in this example, scare was the racket and mad was the core. Other people may cover their scare with mad.
While core feelings can become rackets, there are also many other kinds of racket feelings. Some common examples are disappointment, confusion, sarcasm, and guilt. Using the chart below, identify the racket feelings that you use as substitute emotions. If you identify any that are not on the chart, add them. This week, whenever you experience a racket feeling, see if you can identify the core feeling that lies underneath it.
Exercise 3
The more we can learn about our own suffering tendencies, the easier it will be to stay out of them. For example, if we tend to be miserable on holidays, then it is important to be proactive in making plans for those days, ones that will give us satisfaction and prevent suffering. In the chart below, identify factors that are part of your suffering profile. If you become aware of other factors during the week, or in the future, add them.
See you next Monday for the third lesson.
To find the lessons in this series that have already been published click here.
Letting Go of Suffering: Week 1- The Beginning
You are probably reading this post because you have a desire to let go of your suffering. This course will consist of 17 lessons, each containing concepts or tools that can aid you in your endeavor. The content is based on a workbook I wrote in 1991. I will be posting a new lesson each Monday.
Suffering, as used in this course, is defined as “extended hurt.” It is “the persistence of painful feelings long after they were provoked.” (Judy Tatelbaum) Letting go of suffering does not mean living a life void of challenges or pain; it means not getting stuck in the pain
People often think of suffering as being prolonged sadness. It can also be prolonged anger or fear. There is likely to be some degree of suffering present whenever we are holding on to the past or worrying about the future.
Suffering is also brought on by the unhealthy behaviors we do in the present, those behaviors that make us miserable.
Be gentle with yourself as you go through the course. Let this be an opportunity for you to experience being successful without expecting yourself to be perfect.
During the first two weeks, you will be gathering information about yourself. You will also learn more about suffering and about letting go. As you complete the exercises, either print the post and write your answers directly on the exercise sheets, or just write your answers in a notebook.
Exercise 1
When you are suffering, it is often important to get help from others as you work to shift the energy. In the boxes below, or in your journal or notebook, write the names and phone numbers of people in your life who might be available when you need support.
Exercise 2
What scares you about letting go of your suffering? Write down any fears that come to your mind, whether they make sense to you or not.
Exercise 3
For the rest of this week, reflect on your answers to these three exercises. Consider journaling about the thoughts, feelings and/or insights that surface as you do that.
See you next Monday for the second lesson.
To find the lessons in this series that have already been published click here.
Letting Go of Suffering- New Series Announcement
Are you tired of holding on to the past or worrying about the future?
Have you had your fill of feeling like a victim?
Are you committed to stopping your self-defeating behaviors?
Starting on Monday, November 21, I will be posting one chapter a week (for 17 weeks) from the Letting Go of Suffering workbook I wrote in 1991. If you answered “Yes” to any of the questions above, this upcoming “course” may be instrumental in helping you to make those changes.
This course is meant to increase your understanding of why you are the way you are and to teach you some new behaviors that can facilitate your movement from suffering to joy. Among the areas that will be addressed are:
- Identifying Your Vision
- Discovering Your Suffering Profile
- Stopping Passive Behavior and Critical Self Talk
- Using Affirmations and Contracts to Heal
- Holding Yourself Accountable
I look forward to the possibility of sharing this journey with you.
Letting Go of Suffering Series:
Borrowing Worry
“In essentially all individual moments, we’re safe and physically comfortable. We generally have to borrow worry from the future or the past to maintain unhappiness.”
Fritz Reitz
Taize: Veni Sancte Spiritus
This has been such a difficult week for me, as it has been for many of us. It seems like so much of what I hold dear is in danger.
From time to time during the last two days, a song from a monastery in France has come to my mind. That song is Veni Sancte Spiritus.
The Taize monastery is dedicated to the reunification of the Christian church. At this point there are 100 brothers living there. They come from various Catholic and Protestant denominations and are from 30 different countries.
Taize music touched me to the core the first time I heard it and that has never changed. I visited the French monastery with friends in 2003 or 2004. We had the privilege of spending part of one evening with Brother Roger, their founder. He was in his late 80’s at the time of our visit.
I will never forget that experience. I felt like I was in the presence of a master. One or two years later, he was murdered in the temple. The world lost a great soul that night, but his work lives on.
There are Catholic and Protestant churches singing Taize music all over the world. Those services are always ecumenical.
I have picked a version of Veni Sante Spiritus that includes several different languages (I don’t know how many languages since I only understand English!) When I started the video and the music began, I burst into tears once again.
Following the first video, there will be another one that is in English. And at the end of the post you will find the lyrics in English. The photos in the first video are from the Taize monastery.
I chose to put the video prior to the lyrics so you had an opportunity to get a sense of the song without knowing what it meant. Here is the English version followed by the lyrics. It is also a very beautiful version. As I am listening to it my tears are still pouring.
Come, Holy Spirit, from heaven shine forth with your glorious light.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
Come, Father of the poor, come, generous Spirit, come,
light of our hearts.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
Come from the four winds, O Spirit, come breath of God;
disperse the shadows over us, renew and
strengthen your people.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
Most kindly warming light! Enter the inmost depths of our hearts,
for we are faithful to you.
Without your presence we have nothing worthy, nothing pure.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
You are only comforter, Peace of the soul.
In the heat you shade us; in our labour you refresh us,
and in trouble you are our strength.
Veni Sancte Spiritus
On all who put their trust in you and receive you in faith,
shower all your gifts.
Grant that they may grow in you and persevere to the end.
Give them lasting joy!
Veni Sancte Spiritus
Read more: http://www.letssingit.com/taize-lyrics-veni-sancte-spiritus-t9tpw88#ixzz4PrsEY2x0
LetsSingIt – Your favorite Music Community
LetsSingIt – Your favorite Music Community
Keep Loving by Nimo Patel
When I checked my email inbox this morning, I found an email from Nimo Patel of Empty Hands Music. I heard him sing in Atlanta in August of 2015. I was very impressed by his music at the time, and once I learned more about him, I was even more impressed. In his email message, he offered words of wisdom and a video.
***
Dear Family and Friends of Empty Hands Music,
In this moment when many of us our unhappy, saddened and hurt by the decision we may have made, as a country, to select such a leader, is also the same moment we can take to use that energy for positive change. We vote for this type of leader every 4 years in America. But, really, everyday we have a chance to vote. Everyday we can vote by using less of earth’s resources to help fight global warming. Everyday we can vote by treating our women with the deepest unconditional love and respect. Everyday we can vote by treating all our brothers and sisters in our country and in the world, with genuine appreciation and gratitude for all the beauty and diversity we bring to each other. Every moment, in every day of our life is a seed being planted, is a vote being made. Lets move forward now voting each day through our actions, thoughts and heart. Through whatever darkness we perceive, lets try to shine light. May we all KEEP LOVING! Hope you can enjoy this Music Video during this moment in time. Love you ALL. We will move forward together now. But we all just need to focus on doing our part. Making our daily votes count. Love Love Love.
Blessings to you and sending lots of love!
-nimo and the Empty Hands family.
To learn more about Nimo and Empty Hands Music click here.
To download the free Empty Hands album click here.
Living, Learning and Letting Go 
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