Yesterday, I discovered a blog created by a fifteen-year-old Finnish girl (This Girl’s Bucket List).) She is signing her posts as “ThisGirl” so that is how I will refer to her.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading the pieces ThisGirl had written. When I woke up this morning I noticed she had published a new post, so headed to her blog to see what she had to say.
In the new post, ThisGirl described the guest speaker who talked to students at her school yesterday. The speaker’s name was Marja Korhonen and she “talked” by looking at a board with letters. A helper then voiced Marja’s message. ThisGirl ended her post with the trailer for Marja’s book.
As I watched the short video, tears started running down my face. Nine hours later, I re-watched it and had the same reaction. Once again, I have been presented with a person whose willingness to live life fully inspires me, profoundly inspires me. A person who teaches me that my life will be of value regardless of the circumstances. One who by example lets me know that it is possible for me to be happy no matter what challenges come my way. As I age, I find I need that reminder more often than ever.
I will leave you with the same video. Be sure to turn on the subtitles by clicking on the CC at the bottom, unless you speak Finnish that is!
Not long ago, I was talking with someone who commented that being retired would be so boring. I was startled because I think the opposite. There are so many things I’d like to do. It seems to me that when I’m retired, I will have time to do more of them. I decided to practice being retired!
Ideally, I would be able to devote three or four days a week to that experiment, but that won’t happen often. Yesterday, unexpectedly, ended up being a free day so I decided to make it a “Practicing Retirement” day!”
I planned to do some canning that day, so on Wednesday I purchased blueberries and peaches at the farmers’ market. I was ready for the big day.
The first thing in the morning I checked my email and blog and then reblogged a post from @contentedness.net. Next I ate breakfast, showered and dressed.
The first project on my list was to gather tomatoes from the garden and make some roasted tomatoes.
Sliced tomatoes from garden
Add oregano and garlic cloves
Mix with olive oil and put on a baking sheet
After 30 minutes of roasting at 300 degrees
After 2 hours of roasting
Keep what I need for soup and put the rest in a jar to freeze
On to making crock-pot soup for tonight. The garden isn’t producing much now, and the vegetables tend to be small, but there is still enough to make soup.
Garden Vegetables
Add roasted tomatoes
Next, time to make blueberry freezer jam. I needed to get some supplies at the store to be able to do that. I started feeling strange when I was there and realized I had been so eager to start my “Practice Retirement” day that I had forgotten to take my blood pressure medicine in the morning. Not good. I carry extra pills in my wallet for occasions like that though, so took one right away. I will need to make sure I don’t get too engrossed in activities when I’m retired.
The medication wasn’t working yet so I decided to use the regular checkout line rather than the self checkout. That seemed reasonable for a retiree to do! When the bagger asked if I wanted him to put my bag in a cart I said “No, I can carry it.” I soon realized that it was heavy and that my blood pressure was up, and besides I’m retired, so I changed my mind. I could have even asked him to take it to the car for me, but I didn’t go that far.
Back home, it was time to make the freezer jam!
Blueberries from farmers’ market
Mash blueberries
Add juice, lemon and pectin
Add honey
Put the jam in jars, refrigerate over night, and then place them in the freezer
Time to rest and have some lunch. I shouldn’t be busy all of the time!
From time to time throughout the day, I worked with the graphic artist on September’s Pacific Northwest GreenFriends newsletter. By late afternoon, it was finished and I started sending it out to Amma groups in the region. I plan to continue working on the newsletter when I’m retired so it definitely fit into my practice day.
I have at least 6 more quarts of peaches to process, but that was enough canning for one day. I was tired.
After some rest, I was ready for dinner and my “Practice Retirement” day’s big finale.
This was the last of the preseason games and we won. If the Seahawks are playing this well without our starters, I wonder what the regular season is going to be like. I look forward to finding out! I also look forward to discovering which rookies make it onto the team. (I can’t believe I’m talking like this! I NEVER thought football would become an important part of my life.)
I loved my “Practicing Retirement” day. I know I won’t be able to do this much in one day when I actually retire; in fact I couldn’t keep up this pace even at the age I am now. When I retire, I will make sure I spend time being quiet and still, perhaps even having picnics with friends and looking at beautiful scenery like in the picture at the top of this post. Even when my body isn’t able to do the things I want to do, with my family and friends support, I believe I will live a fulfilling life. I do not think I will be bored when I retire.
Yesterday morning a post caught my eye. It was How to Pretend You Care about Football. The post was funny and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but reading it also caused me to reflect on my own relationship to football. For most of my life, I had no interest in football; and I didn’t made any effort to pretend that I cared about it. In fact, I believe I actively conveyed my disinterest, and at times, my disapproval. The only exception I can remember was when I lived in Oakland and developed some allegiance to the Oakland Raiders.
My attitude towards football changed in the fall of 2012. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I started watching the Seahawks games very early in the season; and I continued watching them throughout the season. When I say “watched,” I use the word loosely. The reality is I was doing so many other things at the same time that I became known for missing most of the important plays. As we came closer to the playoffs, I focused on the games more and by the Super Bowl I was watching them intently.
Photo Credit: Ginny Gensler
That year, the city of Seattle came alive in its support of the Seahawks; or it may be more accurate to say it went crazy. Everywhere there were people in Seahawks shirts, Seahawks signs in the windows, Seahawks tattoos, Seahawks nail polish, and Seahawks flags flying. The city had become one big community. After the team won the Super Bowl there was a victory parade. 700,000 people from around the region stood for hours in 20 degree weather to participate. And I was one of them!
Last year, I was much more attentive when I watched the games and was elated when we made it to the Super Bowl again. I felt disappointed when we lost, but I had enjoyed the season so much that it didn’t spoil my overall experience in the slightest. The Seahawk fans were a community during the wins and we stayed a community during the loss.
As I reflected on all of this yesterday, another memory came to my mind. It was a story I heard in the early 90’s, on one of my first trips to Amma’s ashram in Kerala, India. At that time, one of the brahmacharis (male monks) shared a story from the early days of the ashram. In those days, the spiritual aspirants were expected to abstain from chai (tea). This young man had ignored that instruction however and would daily sneak out of the ashram and go to a local chai shop for tea. Invariably when he returned to the ashram, Amma would be standing by the gate talking to someone. She never said anything to him, but he knew she knew what he had been doing. One day, when returning from his chai break, he saw Amma standing near the gate so he turned around and went to another ashram entrance. He was shocked to find Amma standing there as well! As he reflected on the event, he concluded this was occurring because he was being sneaky. The next time he went for chai, he announced, out loud, to the universe, “I’m going for chai.” Never again did he find Amma standing by the gate when he returned.
So in the spirit of owning my priorities, I have the following to say. The Seahawks have played their first three preseason games for this year and there is one more to go. Then the main season begins. So far I have seen all of the games and I intend to see the rest of them as well. During the six weeks I’m in India, I will follow them on my Android as much as possible. So if I don’t show up at an event I would normally attend, and there is a Seahawks game that day, you can safely assume I am somewhere watching the game. I am a Seahawks fan and I am proud of it!
I have very few memories of my childhood, most of which was spent as an “army brat” moving from place to place. As I have been thinking about those years lately, I realize that there is a theme in some of my happier days.
While I don’t know for sure, it seems like most of those pleasant memories may have occurred during the four years I lived in Germany. We were transferred to Pirmasens, Germany when I was in third grade and we moved back to the U.S. after I graduated from sixth grade.
Some of my childhood memories:
• Making forts. When I was really young my brothers and I made forts inside our house, often under tables. Later we made forts in the woods near the apartment building where we lived.
• Playing outside. There were times when I would leave the house in the morning and only come home for meals and at bedtime. I would play with my friends in their houses and outdoors. In those days, children were given a level of freedom that would be unheard of in today’s world.
• During fourth grade, I remember making a large system of small trenches in the school playground. I then filled the beginning trench with water and watched as the water flowed throughout the network.
• I loved butterflies.
• In fourth grade, I also remember crawling under the schoolyard fence and going into the woods to collect snails. When I crawled back under the fence, to return to the schoolyard, I saw my teacher, Mrs. Pollen, and my mother, who also taught at the school, watching me. Uh, oh.
• My grandfather was a dock master. When we visited my grandparents during my younger years, I would catch fish using a drop line off of the side of the dock.
• I remember hunting for crawfish. That could have been in North Carolina before we moved to Germany or it could have been in Georgia, the place we were stationed after Germany.
As I think of these events, I realize how important outdoor activities and nature were to me when I was young. While it did not continue to be a life theme, there were exceptions.
I had loved my experiences of camping with the Girl Scouts and when I traveled across the country with my church youth group in 1965. After Al and I married in 1971 we took trips to Mt. Baker and to National Parks such as Zion, Bryce Canyon, Yellowstone, Grand Canyon, the Redwoods and the Grand Tetons. At least one of those trips we took after Sreejit was born. In some places we camped, in others we stayed in cabins.
When Al and I bought our house in 1973, I loved gardening and canning.
In the 80’s I took my children and one of their friends to places like Zion National Park.
In the early 90’s, I had a strong desire to have a tree house in the magnolia tree in my back yard. I had planned to have a simple structure built, but the carpenter I hired couldn’t do simple. He constructed a beautiful seven by seven foot structure that even had a skylight!
I slept in the tree house from April to October for five years. That era ended the night two large raccoons blocked my path to the tree house. It wasn’t the first time, but it was one time too many. I started sleeping in the house again. At first the cells of my body screamed with grief. Being contained within the walls felt like moving from freedom to prison.
In the 90’s there was a period of three or four years in row where I explored Bryce Canyon on my own.
For the most part though, my outdoor activities had petered out over the years. I was too busy with work, raising children, and life in general. As I reflect on how I am living now, I can see that the spark has reignited. Gardening is again a priority for me. I have become fascinated by nature, whether it be flowers or creatures such as ants and slugs. A considerable amount of my time is spent in writing and editing the PNW GreenFriends newsletter. A part of me that has been long dormant is waking up.
I grieve that children nowadays don’t have the freedom that my generation had as children. Children are not allowed to roam freely for most of the day. Because of all the violence that surrounds us, parents naturally feel a need to keep their children close and well supervised.
But that is not the only difference. Today, children, teens and even adults are so focused on technology that there may be no time or interest in immersing themselves in outdoor play and nature. Texting, videogames and social media all too often fill their days.
Several years ago, I was at a church when the pastor gave a sermon to the young children. He talked about how in the “old days” children spent their days playing outside on this green stuff. He continued talking about grass as if it was something the children had never seen. He then encouraged them to go outside every day and do activities on that green stuff, activities that would cause them to sweat, something else he thought they were unfamiliar with. While it was a funny sermon, it seemed like an important one to me, then and now. If, as a culture, we keep going the direction we are going, where will we end up?
It is my hope and prayer that all of us will either reconnect with, or experience for the first time, the joy that comes when we immerse ourselves in the natural world, and by doing so may we discover that all beings on this earth are interconnected and can learn to live in harmony with one another.
I graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing degree in 1970, followed by a Master of Nursing in 1974. After receiving my Master’s degree, I taught undergraduate nursing students at the University of Washington for five years. I enjoyed teaching, conducting research and writing for publication, all requirements of my Assistant Professor position. After teaching there for five years, I decided to take a job as a Maternal-Newborn Clinical Specialist at Swedish Hospital Medical Center in Seattle.
To progress along a tenure track at the University of Washington, I would have had to earn a PhD. At some point in the early 80’s, I decided to start working on the PhD. I don’t remember what my reasoning was at the time, but I imagine it was to keep my options open. Afterall, I might want to teach at the University again someday. I continued to work at Swedish Hospital part time as I started the PhD program coursework. I don’t remember what the degree was called in those days but I know that it focused on nursing research and that I chose a track that had a special emphasis in statistics.
At some point during those years, I also started my personal therapy. I loved that process. It helped me move through the pain of my early years and I was able to make good friends and connect in a way I hadn’t in the past. One day, I had an insight that hit me like a sledge hammer. Even though I was doing very well in my studies, I realized I didn’t want a PhD and I didn’t want nursing research to be my life’s work.
In that moment, I realized I was studying for the degree in hopes that my father would acknowledge my existence if I had a PhD. My education had always been important to him and some of my earliest memories were of me asking him to make up math problems I could work on.
While I don’t think we were ever close, our relationship became even more strained as I moved into my teen and young adult years. We had battles when I came home from college during summer vacations, usually over civil rights issues. During one of those altercations, he told me to get out of the house. My mother intervened so I didn’t actually move out. The last straw came in 1971 when I told him I was going to marry Al, an African-American man I had met in Seattle. Simply by my having made that statement, he declared that he would not speak to me again, and he didn’t. My father died in 1999 without ever having said a word to me or my children.
Realizing that my PhD study was so tied to a child-like yearning for my father’s approval ended my interest in the degree. I was loving my psychotherapy experience and in time it became my passion. I did what it took to get the credentialing to become a nurse psychotherapist (Clinical Nurse Specialist in Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing) and I’ve been doing that work ever since.
I see the moment when I recognized the tie between my PhD program and the unfinished business from my past as one of those life changing moments, one that propelled me into work that I felt passionate about and believe I was born to do.
Some people love the Blue Angels, others hate them. I have known spiritual people who were shocked when they said something negative about the planes and I responded that I love them. Those people usually remind me that they are fighter jets. That is a valid point, but I rationalize that these particular planes are not used for war.
I have friends who leave town when the Blue Angels fly and the hydroplanes roar. I’m not interested in hydroplanes but each year I eagerly await the arrival of the Blue Angels.
If I had fought in a war or lived in a war zone, my body would probably fill with fear when they came. If I was a dog, I’d probably hide. But I’m neither. When I hear their sound I feel excited.
The mission of the United States Navy Flight Demonstration Squadron is to showcase the pride and professionalism of the United States Navy and Marine Corps by inspiring a culture of excellence and service to country through flight demonstrations and community outreach.[2]
During their aerobatic demonstration, the Blues fly six F/A-18 Hornet aircraft, split into the Diamond Formation (Blue Angels 1 through 4) and the Lead and Opposing Solos (Blue Angels 5 and 6)….. The Solos showcase the high performance capabilities of their individual aircraft through the execution of high-speed passes, slow passes, fast rolls, slow rolls, and very tight turns. The highest speed flown during an air show is 700 mph (just under Mach 1) and the lowest speed is 120 mph. Some of the maneuvers include both solo aircraft performing at once, such as opposing passes (toward each other in what appears to be a collision course) and mirror formations (back-to-back. belly-to-belly, or wingtip-to-wingtip, with one jet flying inverted). The Solos join the Diamond Formation near the end of the show for a number of maneuvers in the Delta Formation.
I’ve been to the show at Lake Washington several times, but I tend to get bored. It is not the formal show that I love. What I love is that they fly over my house, often very close. (I have lived in this house since 1973 and I believe they were already performing when I moved in. In those days, there were times when we sat on top of the garage and watched. Now the trees are so high we wouldn’t be able to see much even if the garage still existed.) Because my view is so obstructed, I never know when the planes will be flying over the house. Their presence is preceded by their sound. For me the sound is electrifying, and my body fills with a healthy burst of adrenaline, as opposed to the adrenaline rushes that raise my blood pressure when I am stressed.
I not only enjoy watching them outside, I also enjoy listening to them from inside the house. During the shows they fly within my earshot, over and over again.
Since I have had this blog, I have attempted to get photos to share. That is not easy to do because I have only seconds to get the shot. It is much more difficult than taking a picture of a constantly moving bee. Having the houses, trees and wires in the way is an added problem. And this year my garden has become so big that it covers walkways and a good part of the driveway, making it even more difficult to get to a place where I have a chance of photographing them.
Here are two pictures I took today.
After I took those, I decided to use the burst setting on the camera for the first time and was surprised by what I captured. If anyone has an explanation for these pictures please feel free to share it!
Seattle
The Blue Angels few into town earlier this week and I saw one of the planes when it arrived. There was a practice session this morning and as I am writing this post another one is beginning. Tomorrow there will be two more. Then there will be two official shows on Saturday and two more on Sunday. By the end of the weekend, I will be ready for them to leave, but will no doubt be looking forward to their return in 2016!
It occurred to me that I could end this post with a video clip so ran out to get one! You will hear an excited neighborhood child yell when he sees, or hears, them coming.
Imagine my surprise when I received an email on my Android yesterday saying “Congratulations on earning your India badge!” At the time I was in the Seattle airport ready to board a plane to Toronto, where I would be attending the last programs on Amma‘s North American summer tour.
What India badge? The message made no sense to me and I couldn’t imagine what the badge was. When I took a look, I discovered it was acknowledgment from Fitbit, makers of a device I wear that, among other things, counts the steps I take. What a fun synchronicity that the badge would be about India, one of the places I consider to be Home!
On June 29 and 30, Amma conducted programs in Atlanta for the first time. At one point, my daughter Chaitanya asked if I wanted to visit Martin Luther King, Jr.’s church and the other buildings at the MLK National Historical Site. I jumped at the opportunity. We went during the short break between Amma’s morning and evening programs. Our plan was to see as much as we could this year, and view the rest the next time we go to Atlanta. The first place we visited was Ebenezer Baptist church. Starting in 1960, Martin Luther King, Jr. co-pastored that church, along with his father. As we sat in the pews, a recording of one of Dr. King’s speeches filled the air. I closed my eyes and imagined myself being present at the time the speech was first given. I would have been content to stay sitting there for hours. When I looked around, I noticed many people were taking photographs. I resisted doing the same, but in time changed my mind; I wanted to be able to share this memorable experience with others.
At King Hall there were many exhibits about the lives of Dr. King and his wife Coretta Scott King. In addition, the hall contined rooms that were tributes to Rosa Parks and Mahatma Gandhi.
In Rosa Parks’ room, there were many pictures and mementos. I was particularly drawn to a quilt that was hanging on the wall.
Among the items in Mahatma Gandhi’s room were one of his walking sticks, a pair of sandals, a portable spinning wheel, and framed quotes. I was not aware that Dr. King had so much respect for Mahatma Gandhi. I also didn’t know he had traveled to India. Dr. King once said: “To other countries I may go as a tourist, to India I come as a pilgrim.”
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Next we went to the place where Dr. and Coretta King’s bodies are interred. It was beautiful and felt like very sacred space to me.
We had planned to visit the home where Dr. King was born, but once there we discovered they only let visitors in twice a day and you have to get tickets ahead of time. We did appreciate having the opportunity to see his house and stand on his porch, but will have to wait for a future visit to go inside. We spent the last half hour of our visit at the National Park Visitor Center. Below you will see parts of the huge mural that is across from the entrance to that building. I wish I had had time to look carefully at all that was contained in that artwork. Inside the Center there were enough exhibits to keep us busy for most of a day. Several of the displays were interactive. An example is in the picture below, where visitors were able to walk alongside statues of the civil rights marchers. We will definitely spend more time at this Center in the future.
The night before our visit, I read about the National Historical Site in the tourist book in my hotel. I found a story that really surprised me. In preparation for writing this post, I learned more about it. When Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, not everyone supported the decision. The first ever integrated dinner in Atlanta was planned to celebrate it. Black business owners signed up to attend but the white business establishment wanted nothing to do with it. J. Paul Austin, chairman and CEO of Coca-Cola, and Mayor Ivan Allen brought some of the prominent white business leaders together. The message Paul Austin gave them was:
“It is embarrassing for Coca-Cola to be located in a city that refuses to honor its Nobel Prize winner. We are an international business. The Coca-Cola Co. does not need Atlanta. You all need to decide whether Atlanta needs the Coca-Cola Co.”
The event sold out within two hours! During our time at the Site, I experienced deep emotions and many memories. That era had affected me and my life decisions profoundly. There is no doubt that Martin Luther King, Jr. contributed significantly to making me the person I am today. I feel blessed to have visited Dr. King’s memorial site and look forward to returning to it in the future.
The Dungeon Prompt for this week asked us to identify a life pattern, one that we see repeating again and again. Since I already write regularly about the patterns in my life, I decided to answer this prompt in an unusual and fun way.
As I looked for a pattern to explore, I realized I have a nearly fifty-year-old pattern (something that happens in a regular and repeated way) of making items that are patterned (a repeated decorative design) and/or are made from patterns (a set of instructions to be followed in making a sewn or knitted item)! While I certainly don’t have pictures of everything I have made over the years, I do have a good sampling.
In the late 60’s and 70’s, I knit sweaters for myself and people important to me.
I also liked to sew. I made my blue wedding dress and the dashiki Al is wearing. I also made shirts and other clothing items for us.
I believe I crocheted the outfit Chaitanya wore when she came home from the hospital. I made the three sweaters below when Sreejit was a baby and have loaned them to friends with new babies many times. They still look as perfect as they did in 1975!
In the 70’s, I made several blankets. Two of them I still use.
In the 80’s, I made quilts for my daughter and my mother. When my mother passed, the white quilt was returned to me. It took me many years to finish Chaitanya quilt. By the time I completed it, she had moved to India where a quilt wasn’t needed. Both quilts are still used from time to time.
Sometime during the 90’s, I started making tiny Gods and Goddess dolls. They are sold during Amma’s tours as a way of making money for her humanitarian projects.
Saraswati
In the 2000’s, I worked with other Amma devotees to crochet blankets for homeless women who were moving into transitional housing.
Some years later, we worked together to crochet items out of recycled plastic.
Made from coffee and chip bags, strap and newspaper wrapper
Made from grocery bags
I can see that patterns are even a factor in the gardening I do now!
This has been a very interesting prompt for me to write. I am realizing how important projects such as these have been throughout my life.
It has been a very long time since I have immersed myself in any of these crafts. I hope to begin some of them again in the not too distant future!
“The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool.” “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.” “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”-William Shakespeare
Living, Learning and Letting Go 