Struggles with Conflict – Part 2

On April 17, 2014, I wrote a post called Struggles with Conflict. That turned out to be the second most popular post I’ve written. After reflecting some more about the topic, I decided to share some techniques you might find helpful when you are faced with conflict.

When someone is very angry with you, if you start defending or explaining, you may make the situation worse by giving the person more ammunition to use against you. While the problem may need to be discussed in depth, a positive outcome is not likely when one or both parties are escalated. In those cases, consider using one of the techniques I list below. That may be all that is needed. If not, then you can always set a later time for a serious discussion. Continue reading “Struggles with Conflict – Part 2” →

They Touched My Heart

In the last few months, I have seen five videos that really inspired me. They each touched my heart and encouraged me to move forward, to appreciate what I have, to recognize the strength of the human spirit, and to continue my commitment to make a difference in this world. I hope you find them inspiring as well.

How Do YOU Define Yourself Lizzie Velasquez at TED

“In a time when beauty is defined by supermodels, success is defined by wealth, and fame is deified by how many followers you have on social media, Lizzie Velasquez asks the question how do you define yourself? Once labeled, “The Worlds Ugliest Woman,” Lizzie decided to turn things around and create her own definitions of what she defines as beauty and happiness.”

Continue reading “They Touched My Heart” →

My Favorite Quotes

“Don’t be discouraged by your incapacity to dispel darkness from the world. Light your candle and step forward.” — Amma

“It’s not learning that brings you to perfection, it’s unlearning.” — Mother Antonia

“Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened!!” — Dr. Seuss

“I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle. Sometimes I just wish he didn’t trust me so much. — Mother Theresa

“Lord, Please help me make it through this self imposed, and totally unnecessary challenge.” — Author Unknown

“Teilhard de Chardin wrote that we must ‘trust in the slow work of God’………Ours is a God who waits. Who are we not to? It takes what it takes for the great turnaround. Wait for it.” — Gregory Boyle

When the Mind is Still

Many years ago, I learned from Stephen Gilligan, an Ericksonian hypnotherapist, that our bodies must have trance (i.e. altered state) experiences, and that if we do not get that trance in healthy ways such as through meditation, singing, guided imagery, gardening, drawing, etc, we will create it through unhealthy behaviors such as obsessive thinking, compulsions, and addictions.

In an altered state experience, our minds become significantly slower than in our normal state and we are much more in the moment. As humans, our most powerful insights usually occur, not when we are thinking about them, but when our minds are silent. Creativity is the same in that art, inventions, and scientific inspirations so often emerge during times of stillness.

I will share two experiences where new forms of self-expression were birthed in this way for me. Continue reading “When the Mind is Still” →

Opportunity for Community May Come When You Least Expect It

When the Dungeon Prompt about Community came out the last week in January 2014, I wrote something in the comments section but since I didn’t have a blog I couldn’t post it properly. Now I have a blog!

February 1, 2014

To me, community is to be a part of something, to belong. For nearly 30 years I have been part of our therapy community. For 25 years I have been part of the Amma community. This year I have also found community in what, for me, is the unlikeliest of places. In September, I heard that our local football team, the Seattle Seahawks, were on a winning streak. In general, I have had no interest in sports of any kind. The only exceptions have been that I, on very rare occasions, have watched part of the Olympics, and a few, very few, times have watched some of the playoff games when one of our teams was doing exceptionally well. But essentially it is safe to say, I do not watch sports. Continue reading “Opportunity for Community May Come When You Least Expect It” →

To Be Seen, To Be Known, To Be Close, To Belong

The Dungeon Prompt for this week is to answer the question “What does love look like?” It didn’t take me long to decide what to write about!

Throughout my teenage years, I was very involved in church activities. That changed by the time I graduated from college. The college I attended was religiously conservative. The U.S. at that time was in the throes of the civil rights and Vietnam war crises. Continue reading “To Be Seen, To Be Known, To Be Close, To Belong” →

23 Affirmations for Letting Go

1. I learn from every mistake.

2. Change is a necessary and important part of living.

3. I honor my growth.

4. I treat myself and others with respect.

5. The old lessons were for then. It is time for me to move on. Continue reading “23 Affirmations for Letting Go” →

I Will Know When I Know

This week’s “Dreaming Big” Dungeon Prompt is very timely for me, for two reasons. The night before the prompt came out, I read an article about daydreaming in the April 2014 issue of Psychology Today. Continue reading “I Will Know When I Know” →

Living in Gratitude

I spent a lot of time during my childhood sitting in my room pouting. Decades later, during my personal therapy journey, I was able to move beyond much of the negativity and pain of those early years. It was in my therapy community that I first had a strong sense of belonging. I felt content and happy. One day, though, I heard a friend talking about feeling joy. Happiness versus joy….. hummm. That was something to contemplate. I felt happy, but I certainly did not feel joy. Continue reading “Living in Gratitude” →